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Cabezas De Beverly

April 22nd, 2013 No comments

It occurred to me that I’d built up a backlog of half-formed blog posts. Not half-written, mind you. In most cases, they hadn’t proceeded much further than “Hey! This would be a good idea for a post!” Maybe a bit of research and scanning was involved. As the weeks passed and the original inspirations for these still-born musings grew ever distant, I found myself thinking “Is it worth going back at this point? Am I feeling it anymore?”

Then I thought, “Fuck it, you self-absorbed fuck.” So, look forward to some of these wonderful bursts of insight, coming soon to an RSS feed near you.

But first, an update on that whole Bevheads thing from a few weeks ago. A reader pointed out that some of my old web pages had been archived on the Wayback Machine. Here’s my original homepage, circa 1997. Here’s the Bevheads site as the crawlers found it in 1999. (Some of the photos are missing, but the text is still there.)

Then last week I heard back from the blogger who wrote that lovely tribute to Bevheads. She went as far as to write a follow-up post!

Meanwhile, the real Gates McFadden continues to post her own action figure photos to her Tumblr feed. Tiny Bev* has been on a European holiday for the past couple of weeks, but the entry that really amused me was this nightmare sequence featuring various Beverly Crusher merchandise, some of which I used to own.**

*McFadden refers to her plastic avatar as “1/8 Gates,” which only makes sense if the actress is 3 foot, 4 inches high. 

**I sold off the collector’s plate, but I still have the mug.

Max Headroom M-m-mondays: No Signal

November 8th, 2010 No comments

is taking a week off due to a cappella-related circumstances. Yes, that’s “a cappella-related circumstances.” That is the world I currently inhabit.

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Seriously, There Are No Alison Brie Fakes Here

November 1st, 2010 No comments

You know what’s annoying? When you spend an entire month profiling Japanese monsters, then check your web stats to find the following list of top search terms:

#reqs search term
97 alison brie fakes
69 barbie musketeer
65 count von count
56 tina fey
50 dragnet
40 carrie fisher hot
40 velma scooby doo actress
37 tina fey is hot
32 jerry dandridge
29 gozer the destructor
26 sanctum imperialis
26 vermithrax
23 tina fey hot
22 spock
21 vermithrax pejorative
21 godzilla toys
19 musketeer barbie
16 tina fey fakes
15 star wars visions
13 alison brie fake

Okay, I know that I’ve encouraged the “Alison Brie fakes” thing. (Fun fact: I am now the top Google hit for that term, despite the complete lack of such content.) Alison, have no fear; I will not be pasting your head on anyone else’s body now or in the future.

But, come on…why the fuck am I still getting all these hits for “Barbie Musketeer?” Folks, I have mentioned Musketeer Barbie exactly once, in the context of a post about Hallmark ornaments made nearly a year and a half ago. There will never again be a post about Barbie Musketeers on this blog unless it’s me bitching about the people coming here looking for them.

I spent the entire month of July blogging about the cult favorite film Flash Gordon. Hmm…what doesn’t appear even once on the list? Speed Racer? Nope. Latitude Zero? Hell, no.

Guys, I am very disappointed in you.

Tina Fey Hot Fakes And Other Things Likely To Get Me Hits

April 12th, 2010 No comments

It’s time, once again, for the search terms that have brought poor, unfortunate souls to this blog.

613 tina fey hot
57 tina fey
21 2012
18 barbie musketeers
15 alien
13 spock
10 dave thiel
9 tina fey hot photo
7 star wars space slug
6 tina fey hot pics
6 sisters of battle
5 tiamat
5 hot babes
5 lego dragons
5 vermithrax pejorative
4 japanese superheroes
4 alison brie fakes
4 Ñ%81еÑ%81Ñ%82Ñ%80Ñ%8b биÑ%82вÑ%8b
4 tina fay hot
4 tina fey hot hot hot

So, what have we learned? Lots of folks looking for “Tina Fey Hot.” Far fewer who redundantly deemed her “Hot Hot Hot.” At least one schmuck searching in vain for “Tina Fay.” “Barbie musketeers” get nearly twice as many hits as I do. And this post continues to bring me the occasional person in pursuit of “Alison Brie fakes.” (I only search for “Alison Brie reals.”)

And I have no idea what “Ñ%81еÑ%81Ñ%82Ñ%80Ñ%8b биÑ%82вÑ%8b” is.

The 2009 Showroom

August 6th, 2009 No comments

ewokThe last time I updated my toyroom photo gallery was November, 2005. Since then there have been many deletions (most of the Star Wars prequel-based toys) and additions (among them, the Cloverfield monster). I’ve just completed an all-new gallery featuring many of the changes. Not everything is in there: some of the Lego is covered over on my Lego page. And, of course, the Lego Death Star had its own series of blog posts. But it’ll give you a good snapshot of my current state of madness!

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Excuse Me, But Can You Direct Me To The Orange Bomb Squad Troopers?

July 21st, 2009 No comments

Pulling up the latest list of search terms that brought people to this site, I find that Tina Fey has regained her well-deserved position at the top of the heap with 16 hits. I’m sure that’s almost as much an honor for her as was receiving all those Emmy nominations.

However, I cannot account for the equal number of hits on the phrase “star wars the clone wars clone bomb squad trooper toy.” Or the 12 additional hits on “star wars the clone wars bomb squad trooper toy.” (No, they’re not the same: he realized that the second “clone” was unnecessary. However, the second “wars” remained untouched.)

Then there were the four hits for “star wars the clone wars bomb squad trooper toy not lego,” followed by four hits for “star wars the clone wars orange bomb squad troopers.” Undaunted by persistent failure, our intrepid explorer made three attempts to find “star wars the clone wars orange bomb squad troopers toy,” then–in a cunning reversal of his previous strategy–thrice searched for “star wars the clone wars orange bomb squadron clones.” And finally, he made a hail Mary pass and pared it down to “star wars the clone wars bomb squad trooper.” Three more times. Just in case the first two got wedged into one of those Internet tube-things.

It all makes me pine for the day when all that I had to worry about were the folks searching for “neil patrick harris penis.”

Fun With Search Engines

July 12th, 2009 No comments

Here are some of the search phrases currently bringing people to Thiel-a-Vision:

The top entry, with 13 hits, is “Batman digs this day.” Ironically, my use of that phrase was itself a reference to the blog that they’re actually trying to find.

“Dave Thiel” is second with seven hits, and “Spock” is third with four. “Sarah Jane Simth” brought three people here, despite the misspelling.

“Neil Patrick Harris penis” is holding strong with three hits, even though the only discussion of “Neil Patrick Harris penis” to be found here is my fascination with the people who come here looking for “Neil Patrick Harris penis.” I really, really can’t help you.

There were also three hits for “hotbabes at the doctor,” which I’m fairly certain one cannot find here, and two for “Tina Fey in fishnets,” which one can, in fact, find here. Twice.

My favorite search phrase, without question, is the following: “who did the fucking artwork for the star wars unleashed leia figure and no i don’t want any ebay fucking ad.” That’s someone working out their frustration via Google, that is. I will bet that search took him to a lot of eBay ads.

By the way, I don’t know who did the fucking artwork for the Star Wars Unleashed Leia figure. My guess it’s the same person who did the art for the rest of the line. Hope that helps.

Howdy, Stranger!

June 30th, 2009 No comments

While I’m under no illusions that this blog is widely read, I’ve recently been promoting it through Facebook, Twitter and such. However, since I’m allergic to comments, it’s hard for me to tell who’s out there.

You’ll now notice in the header a tab named “Guestbook.” I hope that you’ll take a moment to tell me who you are, where you are and what drew you to this page. Unless you came here by Googling “Neil Patrick Harris penis,” in which case I really don’t want to know.

Mystery…Solved!

June 9th, 2009 No comments

I was just looking under the hood of my blog, and by happenstance discovered the reason someone arrived here through the search term “neil patrick harris penis.”

It’s here. Check out the tags.

Cross Over Children! All Are Welcome!

June 8th, 2009 No comments

Checking the web stats for thiel-a-vision.com, I am always amused by the search terms that bring wandering spirits here.

My Land of the Lost posts have attracted some attention. Current top search term: “the zarn.” Others inlcude “zarn lost,” “zarn lotl,” “land of the lost fred zarn,” “land of the lost zarn you make me feel bad,” “altrusians sleestak,” “sleestaks and pylons,” “land of the lost time schedule old vision not movie,” and “when i look all around i can’t believe the things i’ve found.”

There are also some puzzlers. For some reason, I got five hits for “crossdresser trekkies,” one more than for “dave thiel.” I just did a search of my site, and I can guarantee you that at no point does the phrase “crossdresser trekkies” appear on it. (Er, until now. Damn.)

People came here looking for oddly specific information, such as “directions how to make dr.octopus arms in lego.” You won’t find that here either, but to be honest, that sounds pretty interesting. There were also a pair of hits for “how to write film treatment for earth vs the flying saucers ?” (Yes, they included the question mark.)

The one search term that I can categorically state has never previously appeared on my blog is “neil patrick harris penis.” If you came here looking for “neil patrick harris penis,” you were sorely disappointed. You will never find “neil patrick harris penis” here.

I wonder how well “neil patrick harris penis” will fare the next time I check my web stats.