I’m late to the party, but wanted to post in response to a recent piece that appeared on Hembeck.com. Artist Fred Hembeck highlighted a cartoon listing the one hundred things he liked about comic books and related ephemera. A number of people took up the inferred challenge to create their own lists, and many posted them on Valentine’s Day.

I tried to come up with my own hundred items, only to run into a couple of obstacles: 1) I don’t read many new comics these days, aside from the occasional Dark Horse trade paperback, and 2) an awful lot of them would relate to Superman, which would make for repetitive reading.

Fact is that I really don’t love modern comics. My tastes run mostly to Silver Age (and older) DC books. For some years, I kept up with the post-Crisis Superman, but complained that it wasn’t giving me what I wanted. Then I realized that if I wanted to read a Silver Age-style story, there are literally thousands I’ve never seen, and many of them are being reprinted in trade paperbacks. Trade paperbacks are cool because they can contain an entire multi-issue storyline, plus they’re easier to store.

I rifled through my four long boxes of comics to get some ideas for a list, but had a hard time coming up with more than a couple dozen. However, since I did the “research,” I might as well post the results.

31 Things I Love About Comics

• 1] The Marvel Family. Captain Marvel trumps even the mighty Superman as my favorite hero, but even he didn’t come into his own until he regularly teamed with Captain Marvel, Jr. and Mary Marvel.
• 2] Villains whose names end in “o”: Amazo, Starro, Despero, Titano, Sinestro, Metallo, and oh, so many more.
• 3] Star Wars Tales issues #1-20. This anthology book from Dark Horse played fast and loose with “official” continuity, and included a lot of humorous takes on beloved characters. Therefore, it could not be suffered to live. (It’s now a much less interesting collection of canonical stories about the third-stringers of the galaxy.)
  
• 4] Lois Lane #59, which tells of Lois’ trip to the planet Krypton, pre-cataclysm. Naturally, the matrimony-mad Lois battles Superman’s future mom Lara for Jor-El’s affections, future be damned. And in the back-up story, Batman takes time from his obsessive quest for justice to help Superman play a mean practical joke on his girlfriend. Ah, old comics at their improbable, backwardly misogynistic best.

• 5] 100 Page Super-Spectaculars. These ’70s books featured one new story and numerous reprints from throughout DC’s vast history. Much of my knowledge of Golden and Silver Age characters was originally gleaned from them.
• 6] Adam Strange, the starfaring Man of Two Worlds. Struck by the Zeta Beam, this daring archaeologist was teleported to the planet Rann, where his Earth smarts helped Rannian super-science overcome an endless supply of would-be conquerers.
• 7] The Legion of Doom, from the Superfriends cartoon. For years, the Justice League spent many a dull Saturday morning adventure battling environmental do-badders. What a thrill to see them challenged by a baker’s dozen of their greatest villains!
• 8] An immortal line of dialogue from the first Christopher Reeve Superman film: “You’ve got me? Who’s got you?” A close second (from Superman II) is “General, would you care to step outside?”
• 9] The Micronauts. This late ’70s/early ’80s toy tie-in by Marvel painted a vast canvas of intergalactic conflict which was surprisingly adult.
• 10] Turok, Son of Stone. Not the modernized warrior from the ’90s, but the Indian brave who found himself in a lost valley full of “honking” dinosaurs. Most of the Gold Key comics heroes (including Mighty Samson, Tragg; and Magnus, Robot Fighter) were highly entertaining.
• 11] Lois Lane (Erica Durance) from the Smallville TV show. Enjoyably written and performed…and smokin’ hot.
• 12] Egg Fu, the evil, Cold War computer inexplicably constructed to resemble a giant egg with a face, sporting a prehensile, Fu Manchu mustache. Arguably, Wonder Woman’s most devilish (or should that be “devilled?”) foe.
• 13] Justice League of America #118-119, “Takeover of the Earth Masters.” While perhaps not that notable in retrospect, this tale of a massive assault by alien Adaptoids was the first JLA book I ever read, when every plot contrivance was fresh and every danger real.
• 14] The Green Lantern Corps, policemen of the cosmos. At least before they were dismantled, resurrected, killed, reborn, etc.
• 15] Truer Than True Romance, a trade paperback collecting old DC romance comics, rewritten with hilarious, post-modern dialogue.
• 16] “Who Took the Super Out of Superman?” This four-part tale from Superman #296-299 was a rarity in its day, a truly epic story in which the Man of Steel’s life was split in two, and he explored whether to remain a hero or live an earthly life as Clark Kent. The final fight between Supes and nine of his arch-foes was a real page-turner.
• 17] The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. While I buck comic fan trends by not despising the movie adaptation of Alan Moore’s Victorian-era superhero team-up, the original books are far superior. Plus, one could spend a lifetime trying to identify all of his obscure, literary references.
• 18] Hellboy learning to love pancakes.
• 19] Villains who are half-man, half-dinosaur: Spider-Man’s spiked opponent Stegron, and Sauron, the mutant pterodactyl who fought the X-Men.
• 20] Star Wars Infinities. “What if?” versions of the classic movies. If you’ve ever wanted to see Yoda pilot the Death Star, here’s your chance.
• 21] Superheroines in fishnets. Okay, so fishnets are impractical in a fight. Still, I don’t think one has to look far to see the appeal of Zatanna and the Black Canary.
• 22] Mr. Mind, the World’s Wickedest Worm. This astronomical annelid was one of Captain Marvel’s trickiest opponents.
  
• 23] World’s Finest #206. This was perhaps my favorite single comic book growing up, and I’ve read it countless times. A collection of Superman and Batman’s intergalactic, interdimensional adventures. Who says that Batman is out of place in outer space?

• 24] Writer Alan Moore’s work for DC, notably Watchmen and “Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?” Moore understands the core of the superhero myth better than anyone else I’ve ever read.
• 25] The Metal Men. This team of self-aware robots whose bodies could duplicate the properties of particular metals was highly enjoyable and occasionally educational, especially if you really needed to know the boiling point of mercury.
• 26] Lego Spider-Man.
• 27] Wonder Woman in “Villainy, Incorporated.” This lengthy adventure was the apotheosis of the Golden Age superheroine in all her lesbian/BDSM glory. Some folks may be in denial about the overt sexuality of those ’40s stories, but William Moulton knew what he was doing. The Amazing Amazon defended the Amazons of Paradise Island from an army of female criminals. Bondage fun–on a massive scale–ensued.
• 28] The Silver Age Flash’s Rogues’ Gallery: Heat Wave, Captain Cold, the Top, Mirror Master, the Trickster and Gorilla Grodd. I loved the adversarial, love/hate relationship that Flash shared with his recurring foes. (You may notice a certain theme in my list; that’s because the villains tend to be the more interesting characters.)
• 29] Krypto, the Super-Dog and the Legion of Super-Pets.
• 30] Batman Beyond: The Return of the Joker. While Warner Bros. Animation produced many well-written, stylish adaptations of Batman and Superman, this is their greatest, albeit most disturbing work. The Batman of the future squares off a resurrected Joker, and we find out just why Robin retired. (Shudder.)
• 31] Those freaky ’60s Spider-Man TV cartoons in which the webslinger battled giant vines in alternate dimensions. They were best when the animators forgot to use the correct backgrounds, and it appeared that Spidey had just landed on thin air!

I may think of a few more, and I’ll add them at another time.

Dave Comics Captain Marvel, Star Wars, Superman

This weekend, I received a belated Valentine’s Day gift from my lovely wife Vicky: a Sony Cyber-Shot 4.1 megapixel digital camera. I’d been wanting one for ages; the better to snap random images for my web site.

First order of business, after charging the batteries, was to take a few test shots.

Here’s Vicky and Hobbes on the sofa. The original image was huge and crystal clear, but I shrunk it for bandwidth’s sake.

Here’s the reverse angle. Huh, my face looks fat.

Even cooler, the thing takes movies as well. Here’s a sample. (Warning: 4 MB download.)

Neat!

Dave General kitties, photos

This week saw the DVD release of the first season of The Greatest American Hero. Created by prolific producer Stephen J. Cannell, this early ’80s TV series featured William Katt as gawky schoolteacher Ralph Hinkley (briefly renamed Hanley after President Reagan was shot by John Hinkley), who was abducted by aliens and given a suit which, when worn, granted him super powers. Teamed with FBI agent Bill Maxwell, played by Robert Culp, he defended America from various spies and no-good-niks for three short seasons.

Included in this 3-disc set is the “unaired” pilot for a proposed sequel, The Greatest American Heroine. In it, Ralph’s secret is revealed to the public, and he is obliged to pass on the suit to another. He chooses a hot blonde (well, who wouldn’t?) with a “save the Earth” obsession.

Originally filmed in 1987 as a “presentation” (rather than a full pilot) for NBC, it was later padded out to full length with flashback footage and linking sequences features Robert Culp, and incorporated into the series’ syndication package.

The reason I bring this up is that I was an intern at Cannell Productions during its filming, and even performed as an extra in the crucial “unmasking” of Ralph Hinkley. As an intern at a union shop, I wasn’t allowed to do much on set, except on those occasions when they needed extras beyond the union-demanded quota.

Here’s the scene in question. Ralph has just saved a woman who has fallen from a building, but the rescue is actually a government set-up meant to expose him. Suddenly, a crowd appears…

Follow the arrow; there I am!

Oddly enough, I had pretty much the same beard back then. The suit is one I got from Goodwill for five bucks, and it looks worth every penny. God, those glasses look dorky. But at least I had hair!

And that’s the extent of my appearance. With this, nearly all of my Hollywood oeuvre has been released on DVD. (The last one is an episode of another ’80s Cannell series, Stingray. Hopefully they’ll get to that one soon!)

Dave TV David Thiel Superstar, DVDs, The Greatest American Hero

As I’ve mentioned before, one of the joys of opening my morning e-mail is the spam I receive from a certain purported prescription drug dealer. He/she (it?) apparently uses some sort of random name generator for the “From:” line, with occasional hilarious results. (e.g., Sniffed C. Eskimos)

This morning, I got one from Mermaid E. Bipartisan. (It’s good to know that senators from the sunken city of Atlantis are reaching across the aisle.) For the first time, I decided to look past the funny name and actually read the message text. What follows is the actual text of the e-mail, minus the links. Where possible, I’ve tried to replicate the formatting. (Italics added by me.)

From: Mermaid E. Bipartisan
Sent: Tuesday, February 15, 2005 6:24 AM
To: Dthiel
Subject: No perscription needed, all best medication!

And again, I say, “What The %#$@?” Do they want to sell me drugs…or philosophy? Or perhaps a spellcheck program? Someone really needs to teach these spammers the art of the sale, that’s what I’m sayin’.

P.S. If you plug unsiding.astronomersledby.com into your web browser, you really do get a site offering medical supplies. Do they randomly generate its URL as well?

P.P.S. On said site, I could find no mention of pursuers, clerkish or otherwise. However, I will say it was the simpliest provider of unwadded assumptive I’ve ever encountered.

Dave Weird spam, WTF

Ever since I bought a computer with a DVD drive, I’ve wanted to use it to capture still frames from movies and TV shows. (For strictly legitimate reasons having nothing to do with creating wallpapers of Elizabeth Hurley.) However, some arcane quirk known only to tech heads and leprechauns prevents the “print screen” button from grabbing anything other than total blackness. Granted, I could pretend I’m looking at a photo of Elizabeth Hurley at the center of the Earth, but then it really wouldn’t be serving its purpose.

Now, I know that a number of software products work around this restriction, but they share one annoying problem: they all cost money, and I’ve grown very accustomed to freeware. (I’m not at all averse to spending money–my wife can vouch for that–but it’s just that I’d rather put it where it’ll do the most good.)

Yesterday, I finally found a temporary solution: a DVD player called PowerDVD which comes in a fully functional trial version. I happily frittered away the evening grabbing nifty screen shots (none of which, as it happens, featured a certain Ms. Hurley).

I wanted to share a couple I derived from a large stack of Star Trek (the original, accept no substitute) DVDs. While I mostly went after pictures of starships, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to capture one of my favorite Trek characters: Caffeinated Spock.

What casual Trek viewers may not know is that the character of Mr. Spock was not always the stoic, look-at-me-I’m-so-logical dude that Dr. McCoy wanted to bludgeon to death. In the show’s pilot episode, “The Cage,” he was quite excitable, something I attribute to a caffeine addiction. He spent his time on Talos IV shouting, smiling and generally overacting.

Here’s an example: Spock grooves to the weird sound made by an alien plant. Seriously, he’s really into the foliage.

And here’s one of my favorite moments from “The Cage.” Spock is about to beam down with a landing party to search for Captain Pike, who has been kidnapped by the telepathic Talosians in hopes of breeding humans for their mental amusement. However, the Talosians have manipulated things so that only the female members transport to the surface, causing Spock to shout…

I’ll bet that the other Vulcans kidded him about that for years. “Hey, Spock-O, remember that time when you were hopped up on cappuccino, and you got all freaky because the aliens grabbed your ladies?”

Spock would say “Fascinating,” but under his breath, he’d be muttering Vulcan obscenities regarding a sehlat and someone’s mother. That Spock, he just can’t take a joke.

Dave General DVDs, Elizabeth Hurley, Star Trek

Haven’t had time for updates lately, due to a confluence of work-related activities. However, I did want to share this.

My wife’s best friend Gina has three kids whom we love very much, and whom consider us their “Aunt Vicky” and “Uncle Dave.” The middle child, Kelly, is a fan of the American Girl books and dolls, and we’ve bought her several Christmas and birthday presents from that product line.

Unfortunately, I once made the mistake of purchasing online, which means that I am now on their mailing list and therefore receive things like this on a regular basis:

They’re right. I’m not ready to be a teen girl.

Okay, maybe I do like my magazines boy-free. However, I take issue with the “too fast, too soon” comment. Hmm, perhaps I’m not an American Girl after all!

By the way, Vicky receives Lego catalogs for much the same reason, though in her case, she was buying presents for me.

Dave General American Girl, marketing b.s.