The new season has begun for the commercial broadcast TV networks, and this year there have been a surprising number of new series which intrigued me enough to sample. In most cases, I’ve only watched the first episode, so your mileage may vary over the long haul.

How I Met Your Mother — I’ll admit that I only watched this one because the cast included Alyson Hannigan (“Willow” from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and ex-”Doogie” Neil Patrick Harris, whom I’ve come to respect ever since he willingly played himself as a drunken, perverse car-thief in the stoner comedy Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. At first glance, this was a fairly unremarkable romantic comedy, but I did enjoy the frequent cross-cutting in time and location, a device used effectively in the BBC version of Coupling. In addition, there was a nifty twist in the first episode. The premise is about a father in the year 2030 telling his kids how he met their mother, and indeed, he meets a woman with whom he falls instantly in love. You can tell that they’re meant for each other. Except…she’s not the kids’ mother, but rather their “Aunt Robin.” Boing! It’ll be interesting to see where this goes.

Supernatural — Or “The WB Tries to Woo Back the Buffy Crowd.” I doubt that they’ll do it with this by-the-numbers affair, which offers two bland, cute-boy leads with no discernible personalities in a standard-issue quest to find their father and the demon which killed their mother. They hunt various supernatural (duh) creatures which appear to be culled from the Big Book of Urban Legends. In the pilot, they battled the classic hitchhiking ghost, and went as far as to suggest that not only is this oft-told tale true, but that literally hundreds of women with similar backgrounds have died under similar circumstances and now haunt America’s highways, all wearing white and all attacking passing motorists. Upcoming episodes involve–no joke–Bloody Mary and the Guy With A Hook. I suspect that by episode 13, they’ll be rescuing pets from a microwave oven.

Threshold — The aliens are invading, and we’ve got a plan. So says this series, and the invasion scenario itself is unusual: colonization via a fourth-dimensional object which broadcasts a signal that rewrites the DNA of any Earth creature exposed to it. As our plan to save the human race is to assemble a crack team of a nerd, a horny dwarf (nice stereotyping, there) and Star Trek‘s Brent Spiner, I think we’re in trouble. It would make a good miniseries, but every week?

My Name is Earl — The pilot was, quite simply, the single funniest half-hour of TV I’ve seen in years. The premise is wonderful: a down-on-his-luck lowlife has a epiphany and decides that the only way to turn things around is to make up for by reversing every bad thing he’s ever done. He makes a list. There are 238 entries, including “peeing in the back of a police car.” The characters are charming in a Raising Arizona sort of way, and there were at least a dozen quotable lines of dialogue in that first episode.

The Office — Not a new show, but the first episode of the second season of NBC’s remake of the British comedy. I’ve never seen the original, as despite every good thing I’ve heard about it, it struck me as the sort of show that critics love and that I try very hard (and fail) to like. My understanding is that the NBC version isn’t too far off in quality from the original, and it does have the benefit (from my perspective) of starring Steve Carell. Unfortunately, as I suspected, it wasn’t all that funny. It had moments, but the plot of the episode in question–an after-hours company dinner at which allegedly-humorous “awards” are handed out–made it painful to watch.

Invasion — One of three “aliens among us” new series this year, and one of six with supernatural elements, this one is set in a Florida Everglades community in the aftermath of a hurricane during which odd lights were seen in the sky…and after which some of the people are no longer quite right. I liked this one the best of the three SF/fantasy series I sampled, perhaps because it was the stingiest in terms of explaining its central conflict. With the others, I could see where they were going and knew I didn’t want to go along for the ride. This one is all potential so far, but it got off to a good start, and producer Shaun Cassidy (yes, that one) did a wonderful job with another small-town horror story, American Gothic.

Everybody Hates Chris — I would’ve had to watch this one if only because of the presence of Chris Rock as the offscreen narrator, but it was good to confirm that the pre-season buzz was justified. While the first episode didn’t produce as many full-throated guffaws as did Earl, it was very strong and–as one might expect from Rock–made some canny observations on the subject of race in America.

And I haven’t even mentioned some of the ongoing shows, including the season finale of Battlestar Galactica, which reintroduced the fan-favorite Battlestar Pegasus and its commander, Cain, and naturally subverted everyone’s expectations of both; and Justice League Unlimited, which seems hell-bent on working every last character in the DC Comics universe into its storyline. The Legion of Doom aiding in an overthrow of Skartaris, the world at the earth’s core? Cool!

Dave TV

For WILL-TV, at least. As of 9:28 this morning, we officially signed on our digital transmitter!

It’s been a long time coming: more than two years since we had originally expected to begin digital transmission. Numerous delays and setbacks–most of which were out of our control–led to us filing for several extensions of the due date for our federally-mandated digital transition.

Rather than risk disappointing the relatively small number of early adopters who have been patiently (and sometimes not-so-patiently) awaiting our sign-on, we decided on a “soft launch,” quietly testing the equipment over the past couple of weeks to ensure that we would be ready to go on September 12. As of this writing, all appears well.

Unlike some of our commercial brethren, our digital service has begun at full power, and we are multicasting two simultaneous program streams. WILL-DT is a standard-definition, digital simulcast of our regular analog channel 12. WILL-HD is a pass-through of PBS’ HD satellite feed, which offers a mix of high-definition and digital widescreen programming.

The digital channels are not yet available on cable and satellite, but over-the-air receivers can find them at “virtual channels” 12.1 (HD) and 12.2 (DT). (The signal itself is found on what would be channel 9, but one of the quirks of digital broadcasting is that we can give our services “virtual” designations.)

Dave TV

In this morning’s News-Gazette, an article told of a team of University of Illinois researchers hard at work developing synthetic materials that mimic the human circulatory system. Minute channels could carry molecular agents which might regulate temperature or react to environmental toxins. While everyone cited in the story seemed to think it was a great idea, I found myself filled with horror.

See, this isn’t the first time we’ve heard from this bunch. According to the article, “Four years ago, Scott White and University of Illinois colleagues announced that they had created a class of composite materials capable of healing themselves when damaged, like the body heals a cut or scrape. The secret was tiny capsules of healing agent that broke open when damage, a crack for an example, occurred in the materials. The agent reacted with a catalyst, also built in, and hardened to fix the problem.”

One drawback to that idea is that the healing capsules are only good for a single use. Another break in the same location would go unrepaired. And that’s where the circulatory system comes in. Clever, huh?

Now, if you know me, you may begin to understand why I read this not with wonder, but with stark, raving fear. For surely, this will be the first step to…

Indestructible killer androids.

Don’t laugh. You can see where all of this leads. Perpetually self-healing synthetic bodies, installed with the computing power that drives those seemingly-innocent Best Buy toys Robosapien and his new friend, Roboraptor? Mark my words, one day soon we will all bow to our android dinosaur overlords.

Have we learned nothing from B-movies? Did all of those cautionary tales about science gone mad fail to caution us?

The fools! They’ll destroy us all!

Dave Rant

It was just reported that Gilligan’s Island star Bob Denver died Friday at the age of 70. Why I felt the need to note this death over those of so many others may say more about me than it does about him.

Four castaways down, three to go. Good luck, Gilligan, in your journey to “the other side of the island.”

Dave TV

Yesterday, Vicky and I were out shopping at Target, when I called her attention to–you guessed it–the Star Wars toy display. It was there that I had discovered the latest goodie from Hasbro: the refurbished Imperial TIE Fighter, now with “larger scale wings!” (Note to non-geeks: In order to reduce the price point, Kenner’s original 1978 TIE Fighter toy had wings which were proportionately much smaller than the ship seen on the movie screen. The mold has been endlessly reused over the years, and this is the first time that its wings have been resized to more closely resemble the film counterpart.)

While I had reservations about plunking down 40 bucks for another large hunk of plastic to stink up my toyroom, I had to admit that the revised ship was very cool. I had brought Vic over not because I thought she would be in any way impressed by its larger scale wings, but because I was trying to talk myself into buying it. Admittedly, it didn’t take much talk, and Vic, being ever so good about these things, gave me the nod.

At the register, the cashier picked up my prize and clucked disapprovingly, “Star Wars? You allow this sort of thing to go on?” The latter was said to Vic, for which of the following reasons?

• The cashier sensed that Vic was a woman like herself who would naturally look down upon her husband’s interests.
• Target encourages its employees to kibitz their customers’ purchases.
• I was six years old, and Vic was actually my mommy. (To be fair, I had been walking through the store holding the box in such a manner to suggest that it was flying, and making occasional engine sounds.)
• I was not fucking standing right there.

Actually, this was a trick question. None of these were true.

Vic said, in my defense, “There are a lot worse things he could be doing.” That’s been her philosophy all along when it comes to my collection. I don’t get drunk, do drugs, philander or beat her, and as long as we’ve got the money, why not indulge this harmless vice? Besides, she thinks I’m cute when I’m clutching my latest plaything.

This incident occurred a couple of days after another geek vs. cashier moment which I found less irritating and more humorous. This time I was at Meijer, and had just discovered some repainted Clone Trooper action figures: the variant green Clone Commander and the highly sought-after red Shock Troopers. I grabbed two of the latter, as when I’m setting up my displays, I’ve found that having at least two of an “army-builder” figure can suggest the presence of more.

The cashier was younger and a bit friendlier, but she too said, “Star Wars toys?” I replied, “Yes, and I’m not even going to pretend that they’re for someone else.”

“Why do you have two of the same one?” she inquired about the Shock Troopers. “Well, you need to have troops for your army,” I attempted to explain. She still seemed concerned: “I guess you can always pretend that they’re two different people.”

At this point, I made the mistake of trying to reiterate why one might want multiple troopers. However, she was oddly insistent that I would have to pretend that they were different people under their helmets.

“But,” I sputtered, “They’re Clone Troopers! They can’t be two different people!”

It was at this point that I realized I had said too much.

Dave Toys