There are two kinds of people in the world: Batman people and Superman people. Erm…and possibly Spider-Man people. Okay, there may be as many as three kinds of people in the world, but I’m only going to write about two of them today.

People who prefer Batman, in my view, see the world as a stygian valley populated with ruthless criminals, and the only way to deal with it is to lurk in the shadows dressed as a bug-eating rodent, scaring the shit out of evildoers and upstanding citizens alike. George W. Bush is a Batman person. (He, however, is not Batman. Though I think Condoleezza Rice may be Batwoman. Has anyone ever seen her and Batwoman at the same time?)

Superman people see the bright lights of Metropolis. Evil still exists there and must be challenged on a daily basis, yet Supermen operate in the open and recognize that nearly-unlimited power is not a mandate to put oneself above petty humanity.

The reason that I have always loved Superman is not just because he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. It’s that he has the ability to do virtually anything, yet he chooses to do the right thing. He doesn’t get himself a fat book deal or declare himself Emperor of Time and Space. He puts the power of a god to the service of helping people. And he respects that there must be rules and limitations for his behavior. It would make his life easier to chuck Lex Luthor into the sun, but what would that make him?

I am a Superman person. Not in my strength, nor in my heart. (I know that I would go for the book deal.) But when I think about what I could and should be, I always look up in the sky…

Dave Comics

In semi-surprising news, the New York Post is officially reporting that the late, lamented animated series Futurama will be resurrected with new episodes on Comedy Central. Over the past couple of years there have been various rumors about its possible return, owing to its success in cable repeats and DVD sales. (Family Guy, a show that I simply do not get, was revived under similar circumstances.)

If this turns out to be true–after all, this is the Post–I certainly welcome it. The charmingly retro-futuristic Futurama was never given a fair shake by uncomprehending Fox network executives. In a decision I find puzzling to this day, they quickly removed it from its ideal (and successful) timeslot between The Simpsons and The X-Files. Relegated to 7:00 pm Sundays, it disappeared for months at a time, and when it did air, it was often preempted in half the country by football.

For my money, Futurama was consistently more humorous than contemporary seasons of The Simpsons, which meant that it was 10 times funnier than current Simpsons episodes…and approximately 12.7 times funnier than Family Guy. It even landed an occasional emotional sucker punch. If you’re a pet owner who can get through the last two minutes of the episode about Fry’s dog without breaking down in tears, you are made of sterner stuff than I.

Welcome back, Fry and Leela! Welcome back, Bender! And a special welcome to you, Dr. Zoidberg! Woob-woob-woob-wooo!

Dave TV

Charge up your Atomo Blasters and strap into your G-Couches! It’s time for the second chapter of Kurt Starr in Blazing Rockets!

It may be a little bit longer ’til Chapter Three, as I’m not entirely sure what happens next…

Dave General

I took this week off, as Vic is out of town (on a cruise ship, no less) and it’s the perfect opportunity to spend entirely too much time watching Doctor Who DVDs and staying up entirely too late playing computer games.

(And in case you’re wondering, no, Vic and I are not taking separate vacations these days. She went with her best friend in celebration of nearly 40 years of…friendliness.)

Today’s time sink came courtesy of Lionhead Studios, who just released a “Stunts and Effects” expansion to their sim/moviemaker game The Movies. It was well worth the money, adding tons of new content for amateur directors such as myself.

And so, I present to you the first fruit of my labors with the expansion: the first in what I hope will be a series of episodes featuring the disturbingly familiar-looking Kurt Starr, interstellar rogue.

(Actually, this is not the first appearance of Mr. Starr, who originally appeared in my previous epic Bart Starr and the Princess of Ondes, until it was pointed out to me that Bart Starr is a real-life athlete. Hence, Starr’s name change, though being a two-fisted space hero, his name must continue to start with an appropriately hard consonent.)

Click on the poster below to visit The Movies website and see for yourself!

Dave General

I suspect that by now, even Jennifer Aniston is sick of hearing about Jennifer Aniston.

Let me be clear: I like Jennifer Aniston. During my early exposure to Friends, I eschewed my usual habit of choosing “Mary Ann” over “Ginger” and, of the three women on the series, fixated on the overtly hot one. Rachel’s short skirts in those early seasons informed that choice, as did the nerd wish-fulfillment of her relationship with Ross. (That, of course, was before the writers proved beyond a reasonable doubt that Ross was a belligerent jackass.)

To be honest, I feel a bit sorry for Jennifer Aniston these days. At least, as sorry as one can feel for a smokin’ babe celebrity with 10 years of hit sitcom riches in the bank. While I’m usually of the opinion that paparazzi and tabloids are part of the price one pays for stardom, come on already, give the girl a break.

They’ve been obsessed with her love life for years, all through the Pitt and Post-Pitt Eras. (And what’s with Brad Pitt, anyway? What heterosexual male wakes up one morning and thinks, “You know, Jennifer Aniston just isn’t doin’ in for me anymore?” I know that Angelina Jolie is crazy hot, but crazy is definitely the operative word there.) Now they won’t get off her and Vince Vaughn, another celeb I actually like.

It’s funny how Entertainment Weekly has made such a big deal out of The Break-Up, even as their own critic is ripping it a new one. It’s not like they need an excuse to run stories about Aniston. Again, I pity her a bit here. I do think she’s got some talent, and I’m perhaps as puzzled as she must be that she appears incapable of making the transition to movie star.

(By the way, this photo of the twosome bugs me a bit. Aniston seems unnaturally tall, and exactly what is Vaughn doing down there?)

Don’t miss The Break-Up, as you’ll only have about four more days to think about it until the unholy hype machine has moved on to Cars.

Also in this week’s unholy hype, just how many tributes to Katie Couric did we need? The girl’s just switching jobs. She didn’t die.

Dave Rant

Last night brought the first episode of the summer TV series Game Show Marathon. It’s a wonderfully entertaining concept: take the same group of contestants through a gauntlet of current and classic game shows, complete with all the original bells and whistles. The games include The Price Is Right, Let’s Make a Deal, Beat the Clock, Press Your Luck, Card Sharks, Match Game and Family Feud.

Unfortunately, it makes a couple of major, though not fatal, missteps. First is that employs Ricki Lake as the host. I haven’t had much previous exposure to Lake, having an allergic reaction to afternoon talk shows. I’m sure that she’s an adequate emcee elsewhere, but she lacks the necessary smarm for game show host. (I did like that she closed last night’s The Price Is Right pastiche with a Bob Barkerish call to spay or neuter your pet.)

Second is the use of celebrity contestants. Granted, I am all too fond of former Trading Spaces perky girl Paige Davis, and was amused by her obvious delight in the opportunity to play Plinko. However, the problem with celebrity contestants is that there’s really very little at stake for them. Sure, charities may win or lose based on their performance, but there’s no personal risk. It’s one of the reasons that Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? imploded.

What I think Game Show Marathon is missing are plain ol’ folks to run the gauntlet. And like the best reality show competitions, we need to know enough about them to actually give a darn whether they excel at Card Sharks.

Actually, what I think all game shows are missing is an opportunity for real people to play, and by that I mean contestants who aren’t prescreened and cast for their personality types. I’ll admit that a large part of this belief stems from the fact that I am not the sort of excitable person that game show producers like.

When it began, Millionaire was intriguing because the national phone line it used to test contestant wannabes suggested that we finally had a show which was truly open to the unwashed masses. Indeed, the first million dollar winner was just about the most personality-free human ever granted 15 minutes of fame. But before long, the phone line closed down and we wound up with a long parade of celebrities, sports figures and prescreened-within-an-inch-of-their-lives bubbleheads.

I’m not saying that I won’t watch more of Game Show Marathon. I’m looking forward to Paige Davis’s turn at Press Your Luck.

Dave TV