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Home > Rant > I Like Right Cuboids, And I Cannot Lie

I Like Right Cuboids, And I Cannot Lie

April 13th, 2009

The latest outrage: a brouhaha over a “sexualized” Burger King ad for a Spongebob Squarepants-themed meal, in which the fast-food chain’s creepy King character plays Sir Mix-a-Lot to a line of female dancers shaking their square booties. CBS’ Early Show interviewed Joe Kelly of the organization Humorless Scolds in Search of a Flag to Wave (possibly not its real name), who said that it “objectifies women and that’s an incredibly outrageous message to be sending to kids. I saw it, as did many, many other people during the final games of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, which is an event a lot of families watch together.” Oh yes, because women are never otherwise objectified during a “family” sports event

Look, I’d be more likely to agree with you if the dancers in question weren’t sporting ENORMOUS SQUARE ASSES. ‘Cause I gotta tell you, that pretty much ruins it for me. I don’t know, perhaps geometry teachers find rectangular hexahedrons a turn-on?

If so, here’s the full-length music video:

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