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Home > Rant > It’s Really Very Simple

It’s Really Very Simple

April 18th, 2009

Last week, Time magazine discovered zombies. Forty years after George Romero invented the modern variety. Columnist Lev Grossman wrote “Zombies Are the New Vampires,” in which he tries to relate the undead to the war, ecology, and┬áthe economy.

All very well, but I can tell you exactly why zombie flicks (28 Days Later, Shaun of the Dead) and zombie games (Left 4 Dead, Resident Evil 1-5)┬áhave been so popular. It’s this:

Zombies look like people, and you can kill them.

You see, vampires are broody. You might even like them if you got to know them.

Zombies have no redeemable features, like personality or dress sense. The only relationship they desire is your sweet, sweet brain.

So, it’s okay. Slash ’em, hack ’em, shoot ’em in the head. Feel no remorse. They certainly don’t.

Kill all you want. They’ll make more.

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