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Seriously, There Are No Alison Brie Fakes Here

November 1st, 2010

You know what’s annoying? When you spend an entire month profiling Japanese monsters, then check your web stats to find the following list of top search terms:

#reqs search term
97 alison brie fakes
69 barbie musketeer
65 count von count
56 tina fey
50 dragnet
40 carrie fisher hot
40 velma scooby doo actress
37 tina fey is hot
32 jerry dandridge
29 gozer the destructor
26 sanctum imperialis
26 vermithrax
23 tina fey hot
22 spock
21 vermithrax pejorative
21 godzilla toys
19 musketeer barbie
16 tina fey fakes
15 star wars visions
13 alison brie fake

Okay, I know that I’ve encouraged the “Alison Brie fakes” thing. (Fun fact: I am now the top Google hit for that term, despite the complete lack of such content.) Alison, have no fear; I will not be pasting your head on anyone else’s body now or in the future.

But, come on…why the fuck am I still getting all these hits for “Barbie Musketeer?” Folks, I have mentioned Musketeer Barbie exactly once, in the context of a post about Hallmark ornaments made nearly a year and a half ago. There will never again be a post about Barbie Musketeers on this blog unless it’s me bitching about the people coming here looking for them.

I spent the entire month of July blogging about the cult favorite film Flash Gordon. Hmm…what doesn’t appear even once on the list? Speed Racer? Nope. Latitude Zero? Hell, no.

Guys, I am very disappointed in you.

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