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Home > Doctor Who > 31 Classic Doctor Who Monsters #3: The Kandyman

31 Classic Doctor Who Monsters #3: The Kandyman

October 3rd, 2012

Of the scant dozen televised adventures of the 7th Doctor, my second favorite is The Happiness Patrol. That’s definitely a minority view. But you can keep your Ghost Light, with its incomprehensible plot and dark, manipulative Doctor. Give me the satirical dystopia presided over by a Thatcher-esque dictator and her pink miniskirted enforcers, where happiness was mandatory and melancholy punishable by death. It was all in the best tradition of the British comic book 2000 A.D., which unleashed the over-the-top “justice” of Judge Dredd.

When the “fun guns” of the Happiness Patrol weren’t discouragement enough, the most recalcitrant “killjoys” were handed over to Terra Alpha’s resident executioner…

The Kandyman!

The Happiness Patrol (1988)

The Kandyman was technically a robot, its mechanical innards encased within a sugary shell. The victims brought to its Kandy Kitchen were subjected to confectionary tortures, the most infamous being drowned in “fondant surprise.”

His sweet exterior–which was the subject of a real-life complaint by Bassett Foods over its resemblance to corporate mascot Bertie Bassett–was especially susceptible to lemon soda. The Doctor used a spray bottle of the stuff to stick the Kandyman’s feet to the floor and escape.

Another installment tomorrow!

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