web analytics
Home > General > I Fought The Lobster, And The Lobster…Lost

I Fought The Lobster, And The Lobster…Lost

July 28th, 2005

Despite yesterday’s depressive birthday post, I did at least have a nice evening, thanks to Vicky. She bought me some “boring” (her word) presents: several shirts and a pair of pants, all from Bachrach. I have said that if I could afford to do so, all of my clothes would come from Bachrach, so boring or not, they’re all very nice, and a good bit more colorful than my customary grey/blue/brown work clothes.

We went to Red Lobster, and since it was my birthday, I decided to go for the Live Maine Lobster. And though I approach the notion of Live Maine Lobster with some ambivalence, I do not regret the choice.

I have to admit that I really feel sorry for the lobsters, stuck in their tank with rubber-banded claws, unable to defend themselves from the tender mercies of the kitchen staff. It’s difficult not to emphathize with their lot in life: an existence which can only end in a pot of boiling water.

And yet, none of this stops me from eating them.

I find it funny that the Red Lobster menu offers one the opportunity to choose one’s lobster from the tank. What am I, some sort of Lobster Mengele? I’m not going to stare a living creature in the eyes and say, “Mmm, you look tasty.” Yes, I took no responsibility whatsoever for selecting which lobster scuttled the Last Mile.

When the Until-Recently-Live Maine Lobster appeared at my table, I immediately dubbed him Pinchy, in reference to the Simpsons episode in which Homer adopts his would-be seafood dinner. Of course, things did not go well, and one of the best moments of the show was when–after accidentally boiling the luckless crustacean–Homer ate him, all the while crying over poor Pinchy.

And you know what? My Pinchy tasted good, too.

I salute you, Pinchy. You were a fine example of ocean-dwelling life, and you were succulent with butter. Now you rest in my belly. Good Pinchy, good boy.

Categories: General Tags:
Comments are closed.