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Home > Star Wars > The Worst Jobs In The Multiverse #4: Death Star Superlaser Technician

The Worst Jobs In The Multiverse #4: Death Star Superlaser Technician

May 30th, 2013

(excerpted from Imperial Navy Employee Handbook #DS-ST-1138)

 

Welcome to your new post! As a Superlaser Technician, you will enjoy a long exciting career!

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions

Why is my work station located within the firing chamber of the superlaser?

Ha! You are hardly the first one to ask that question!

How can I put in a requisition for a chair? Or a railing?

File form #DV-0525-TERM with the Quartermaster. Your request will be forwarded onto Lord Vader for his review.

I’ve heard a rumor that prolonged exposure to such a massive anti-proton beam offers health risks.

Those rumors are being fiercely addressed by our Personnel Office. Rest assured, prolonged exposure has been proven a non-issue by previous holders of your post.

Where is the escape pod located?

Evacuate? In our moment of triumph?

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