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The Long Road To Fifty: 12

June 23rd, 2014

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.  — “Ben” Obi-Wan Kenobi


For me, Hobart Junior High School was insane asylum, war zone and circle of Hell. Each day I would descend into its grim depths so that the vultures could eat my liver anew.

It is possible that this is an exaggeration, but it is just as possible that it is not. And given that the forbidding edifice subsequently was converted into the Police Department, I rest my case.

Here I am, surrounded by 47 fellow inmates. Yes, that is a ginormous fucking zit on my forehead.


I’ll have more to say about HJHS in the next post, but first, this happened…


People complain about the impact that Disney princess culture has upon young girls. I had the opposite concern: a desperate need to rescue that princess. While Star Wars was by no means the first pop culture artifact to engage my inner swashbuckler, it crystallized every childhood fantasy of travelling to the stars, saving the day and getting the girl, just like Luke Skywalker. (Of course Luke would wind up with Princess Leia. How could it be otherwise?)

Here’s what I believe to have been my first, but hardly last, Star Wars birthday cake. The giveaways are the generic spaceman figure and the leftover Bicentennial partyware.


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