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Posts Tagged ‘Alison Brie fakes’

Seriously, There Are No Alison Brie Fakes Here

November 1st, 2010 No comments

You know what’s annoying? When you spend an entire month profiling Japanese monsters, then check your web stats to find the following list of top search terms:

#reqs search term
97 alison brie fakes
69 barbie musketeer
65 count von count
56 tina fey
50 dragnet
40 carrie fisher hot
40 velma scooby doo actress
37 tina fey is hot
32 jerry dandridge
29 gozer the destructor
26 sanctum imperialis
26 vermithrax
23 tina fey hot
22 spock
21 vermithrax pejorative
21 godzilla toys
19 musketeer barbie
16 tina fey fakes
15 star wars visions
13 alison brie fake

Okay, I know that I’ve encouraged the “Alison Brie fakes” thing. (Fun fact: I am now the top Google hit for that term, despite the complete lack of such content.) Alison, have no fear; I will not be pasting your head on anyone else’s body now or in the future.

But, come on…why the fuck am I still getting all these hits for “Barbie Musketeer?” Folks, I have mentioned Musketeer Barbie exactly once, in the context of a post about Hallmark ornaments made nearly a year and a half ago. There will never again be a post about Barbie Musketeers on this blog unless it’s me bitching about the people coming here looking for them.

I spent the entire month of July blogging about the cult favorite film Flash Gordon. Hmm…what doesn’t appear even once on the list? Speed Racer? Nope. Latitude Zero? Hell, no.

Guys, I am very disappointed in you.

31 (Japanese) Monsters #3: Gorosaurus

October 3rd, 2010 No comments

A note of clarification: In recognition that I am, in fact, old and that the phrase “Japanese monsters” may have different connotations to you young punks, I want to make something clear. If you have come here looking for any of the following:

  • Death Note
  • Legend of the Overfiend (okay, even that’s dating me)
  • anything involving damp, stringy-haired ghosts
  • Alison Brie fakes (nothing to do with monsters, but I keep getting hits for that phrase)
  • especially Dragonball Z

Keep moving, there’s nothing to see here. Instead, I’m talking old-school, city-stomping creatures, or as the gaijin would have it, “kaiju.” That’s a Japanese word meaning “man in a rubber dinosaur suit.”

Which brings me to…


Monster Island Nickname Mister Tibbs
Hails From Mondo Island
Movies Appeared In
(not counting stock footage)
Hobbies Ass-Kicking, Name-Taking
Quote “Brrrrraaaauu!”

The remarkable thing about Gorosaurus is that he’s generally unremarkable. No flashy death rays, hook hands or freeze tongues for him. He’s just a dinosaur.

That’s understandable, because he was introduced in King Kong Escapes as nothing more than one of the prehistoric inhabitants of Kong’s island home.

Toho dusted off the suit the following year for their kaiju jamboree, Destroy All Monsters. I suspect that Gorosaurus’ inclusion had less to do with his popularity than that the suit was still in good shape and helped fill out the roster.

That said, Gorosaurus built a rep for himself in his second appearance. First, he subbed for the ailing Baragon in burrowing up beneath Paris’ Arc de Triomphe*. Later, he was one of the main participants in the film’s final battle against the space dragon King Ghidorah, delivering a devastating kangaroo kick.

*Baragon still got the credit. Stupid Baragon.

Tina Fey Hot Fakes And Other Things Likely To Get Me Hits

April 12th, 2010 No comments

It’s time, once again, for the search terms that have brought poor, unfortunate souls to this blog.

613 tina fey hot
57 tina fey
21 2012
18 barbie musketeers
15 alien
13 spock
10 dave thiel
9 tina fey hot photo
7 star wars space slug
6 tina fey hot pics
6 sisters of battle
5 tiamat
5 hot babes
5 lego dragons
5 vermithrax pejorative
4 japanese superheroes
4 alison brie fakes
4 Ñ%81еÑ%81Ñ%82Ñ%80Ñ%8b биÑ%82вÑ%8b
4 tina fay hot
4 tina fey hot hot hot

So, what have we learned? Lots of folks looking for “Tina Fey Hot.” Far fewer who redundantly deemed her “Hot Hot Hot.” At least one schmuck searching in vain for “Tina Fay.” “Barbie musketeers” get nearly twice as many hits as I do. And this post continues to bring me the occasional person in pursuit of “Alison Brie fakes.” (I only search for “Alison Brie reals.”)

And I have no idea what “Ñ%81еÑ%81Ñ%82Ñ%80Ñ%8b биÑ%82вÑ%8b” is.