Hey, remember when that “citizen journalist” dressed up like a blaxploitation pimp and secretly videotaped ACORN desk workers advising him on best practices for sneaking underage prostitutes into the country? You know, the scandal that brought down a 40-year-old community organization that registered voters and helped low-income (read: “non-white”) Americans find affordable housing?

It was all bullshit. Imagine that.

These days, “citizen journalism” is all the rage with activists and political operatives of all stripes. Even some within the mainstream media see it as an aid to news-gathering in an age of shrinking budgets.

The problem I’ve had with it, even before James O’Keefe gave ACORN the pimp-slap, is that it requires neither standards nor ethics. Now, the folks who like to bitch about mainstream media might argue that legitimate journalists also lack standards and ethics. Sometimes, they’re right. (More on that in a moment.) I would counter that at least a news organization–as opposed to a rogue mack daddy–has an editor and a publisher. Possibly a board of directors or a group of stockholders. In other words, they’re accountable to someone. There’s a shared self-interest in protecting the organization itself.

Honestly, I don’t expect weaselly little shits like O’Keefe not to engage in deceptive editing. In fact, my first presumption about “citizen journalism” is that it should be regarded with skepticism.

That’s where the legitimate journalists come in. When presented with an outrageous claim–for example, a white kid dressed like Sweet Sweetback finding dozens of social workers willing to help him start a whorehouse–it’s their job to step back and say, “Hmm…this probably demands further investigation.” Like examining the unedited footage.

That Fox News either didn’t do that or chose to overlook the obvious deception says a lot about their standards and ethics. (It also serves as counter-evidence for my organizations vs. individuals argument.)

And why were so many people so quick to buy into it? Some for political reasons, of course. ACORN was seen as a left-leaning organization, and that could not be allowed. But the story also fit the narrative that many of us (read: “whites”) want to believe about “the other.” They’re stupid. They’re criminal. They embrace forty-year-old racial stereotypes.

In a just world, Fox News and Andrew Breitbart (who has aided and abetted O’Keefe’s efforts) would be brought to heel for their race-baiting. But this is not a just world, just a world in which bullshit reigns so long as it’s the right kind of bullshit.

Dave News assholes, blaxploitation, journalism

Writer/director/professional asshole Kevin Smith has been in the news lately. Partially, this is because he has a new film out, but mostly it’s because he used the power of social media and his million and a half Twitter followers to throw a hissy about being deemed too fat to physically fit a single airline seat. There are some things about his account that don’t quite make sense to me, but the one thing about which I’m fairly certain is that the seat is not at fault.

Thinking about Kevin Smith (something I care to avoid whenever feasible) has had me thinking about a peculiar subset of geekdom: the fan-turned-pro. These are the relatively few fanboys and girls who have achieved a measure of creative success in movies and/or TV, and who have themselves inspired devoted followers who declare them the wittiest, most wonderful things ever to exist in the universe of stuff.

In the case of Kevin Smith, my theory is that his entire rise to fame is built upon the scene from his debut film Clerks in which the main characters debate the ethics of blowing up the many independent contractors laboring aboard the second Death Star in Return of the Jedi. I suspect that a great many people who would never otherwise have been interested in a cheap indie flick about misogynistic, jerkwad store employees saw it solely because they’d heard about that scene. I know that I did.*

Now, I’m not in a position to review his body of work. The only other Smith film I’ve seen was Chasing Amy, which I thought was okay. Nothing I’ve heard about his later flicks encouraged me to check them out. From my perspective, his chief contribution to culture has been giving other fanboys license to wear black trenchcoats during situations in which trenchcoats are neither necessary nor a good idea.

I believe that, to a large extent, Smith’s following is built upon a foundation of self justification. “If a tubby, repulsive geek like him can make it, then how can I be worthless?”

He’s not the only one to benefit from that flavor of adoration. (Though he is the one least likely to fly on Southwest Airlines.) Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon certainly qualifies.

Now, please understand that–unlike the anal pustule that is Kevin Smith–I myself have a great deal of fondness for Joss Whedon. My DVD library includes seven seasons of Buffy, five seasons of Angel and no seasons of Dollhouse. (But the fact that I watched every last damned episode of the latter suggests that I am willing to follow him into places most others wouldn’t.) All in all, I think he’s a talented writer who happens to work with the sort of subject matter I enjoy.

I have argued with friends and associates who find Whedonites a particularly noxious fandom. I don’t think that they’re any worse than any other group of myopic idolizers. I’ve hung out on enough sci-fi message boards to remember the ferocity of Babylon 5 fans who saw its creator J. Michael Straczynski as the most remarkable TV producer ever. Joss’ fans may be all too willing to blame his failures on others,** but I don’t think that’s unusual.***

I do, however, believe that Whedonites (and I admit to having Whedonite tendencies myself) extend their intense devotion to any actor touched by the Joss. Certainly, I initially tuned into How I Met Your Mother mostly because of Alyson Hannigan.

How else to explain the extreme interest in minor Internet celeb Felicia Day? She played a potential Slayer in the final season of Buffy, and–more significantly–the love interest in Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. She’s moderately cute, and can kinda sing. She produces and stars in a web series called The Guild, based on her experiences as an online gamer. Basically, she’s Kitty Pryde of the X-Men–a non-threatening, mildly geeky imaginary girlfriend–with the added advantage of being a real person one could actually touch but never will. But, because of the Whedon connection,**** she’s the most beautiful talent triple-threat, and woe to the persons who can’t see it for themselves.

Sometimes, this unnatural attention runs its natural course. These days, one rarely hears about Babylon 5 outside of sentences like, “Hey, remember when Babylon 5 was a thing?” J. Michael Straczynski mostly writes comics these days. Even so, I’m sure that someone out there is breathlessly declaring JMS the bestest thing to hit comics since Stan Lee.

Thankfully, I do not hang out on that message board.

*For my own part, as far back as 1977 I had wondered much the same thing about the original Star Wars. Even at 13, I’d begun to wonder about things like whether everyone aboard the first Death Star deserved to be vaporized. Surely, I thought, there were at least some imprisoned Rebels aboard?

**Dollhouse was ruined by pinheads at Fox, not because it was an unworkable series premise populated by characters who were literally blank slates and fronted by an actress with the chameleon-like ability to play a single personality.

***Can’t wait to read the justifications for Cop Out.

****The gamer thing also helps.

Dave Rant anal pustule, assholes, fanboys, Felicia Day, Joss Whedon, Kevin Smith

For years, I’ve looked at video of England’s House of Commons and wondered why our own Congress couldn’t be a bit more like that. Sure, it gets a bit raucous, but I’d rather have some honest dissent than all of that blatantly forced civility. (“The honored senator from Missouri,” etc.)  So, I can’t honestly say that I have any strong feelings against Rep. Joe Wilson’s outburst during Obama’s health care address last evening, except to say that such an event would never have been tolerated under the previous administration. Heckling a sitting president? During a time of war? Heaven forfend!

That said…really, is this what we’ve come to?

A fucking cardboard sign? C’mon, Rep. Louie Gohmert, you can do better. At least add some suitable headgear.

Here’s one that I hope you’ll try out in 2011.

Dave Rant assholes, Barack Obama, cardboard sign, stupid Republicans

When Obama and the new Democratic-controlled Congress took power earlier this year, I was pleased to see that they didn’t repeat the childishness of their predecessors. I remember how infuriated I was when, in the bitter aftermath of the 2000 election, the Republicans used their wafer-thin majority to behave as if that the other 50% of the electorate not only didn’t matter, but didn’t exist. So, even though the Democratic victory in 2008 was by no means a close call, I thought it was a good thing that our side said, in essence, “Hey, we’re willing to have you at the table and truly listen to your ideas.” (We presumed, incorrectly, that they might look at the previous eight years of failed policies and come up with something less…identical.)

Unfortunately, it hasn’t worked out so well. While I’d like to think that Obama is some sort of ninja chess master and is setting up his opponents for an eventual reckoning, it seems that instead a down-and-out superminority has somehow bullied its way into running the show.

Once again, I find myself infuriated. And I don’t understand why we are continuing to sit at the kiddie table, trying to have a serious conversation with people whose chosen level of rhetoric is repeatedly thwonking us on the head before getting bored and wandering off to burn some ants with a magnifying glass.  They scream and they lie. They rile up the crazies until someone gets shot, then turn out their hands and claim, “Who? Me?”

We don’t need them. We shouldn’t suffer them. And if they insist upon acting like sociopathic brats shrieking for their penmanship medal, they have no business being allowed to sit on the committees that set our political and social agendas.

Dave Rant assholes, Barack Obama, lies, politics, stupid Republicans

Remember how last year John McCain kept bringing up the $3 million that Obama wanted to spend on an “overhead projector” for a Chicago planetarium? Here’s what he was really talking about. 

I am so glad that that asshole wasn’t elected.

Dave Rant assholes, deliberate misinformation, John McCain, politics

Rush Limbaugh is trying to convince us all that saying he hopes that Obama’s policies fail is somehow substantially different than saying that he hopes Obama himself fails. 

I hope he fails.

Dave Rant assholes, Barack Obama, politics

Last night, Christmas perennial Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer aired on CBS. Now, this show is dear to Mrs. Thielavision and myself–we’ve currently got a large diorama of Rudolph characters lining the top of our entertainment center–but we have to admit that these days it inspires many nagging questions, the most critical of which is this:

Why is everyone such a dick?

Oh sure, you expect all of the other reindeer to be intolerant. (See “Reindeer Games, Denied.”) But the elves–at least the ones who are uninterested in dentistry–are similarly opposed to nonconformity. And then there’s Santa. Jolly old Saint Nick. Who visits children of all creeds and colors, but is taken aback by the sight of a baby reindeer with a glowing nose.

Donner: Now, I’m sure it’ll stop as soon as he grows up, Santa.

Santa: Well, let’s hope so if he wants to make the sleigh team some day.

Workplace discrimination? From Santa? Does he withhold toys from developmentally disabled children? How does he feel about conjoined twins?

(Someone has thoughtfully put together a compilation of Santa’s most prickish moments.)

Of course, in the end Santa comes around, but only after he realizes that he needs the little freak. And even then, if he’d had the foresight to install a sleigh-mounted spotlight, poor Rudolph would likely be moping around the North Pole to this very day.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I still love Rudolph. The songs are great, and there’s imagination to spare. Where it really wins me over are the freaky details used to flesh out what is, after all, otherwise a very simple story. Not only is there Hermey, the Elf Who Wants to Be a Dentist, but there’s also the whole Island of Misfit Toys mythology. You see, there’s a lion with wings named King Moonracer who flies around the world collecting poorly manufactured toys to live a shunned, lonely existence on his own private island. Oooo-kay.

Now, leaving aside the oft-debated question of the exact defect of the outwardly normal Misfit Doll (said, by one official source, to be “psychological” in nature), there’s another bit of oddity regarding the outcast toys. The reason they’re on the island in the first place is that they were unloved and abandoned by children, yet at the end of the show Santa delivers them from his sleigh at Christmas.

I can hear the grateful kids now:

Hey, this sucks! This train’s got square wheels!

Mom! Tell Billy to stop squirting jelly at me!

What’s this? A cowboy? Riding an ostrich? Where’s my fucking bike?!?

Who wants to play with a Charlie-in-the-Box?

And so:

Dave TV assholes, Christmas, discrimination, reviews, Rudolph, Santa Claus

This weekend, while waiting for Vic to return home, I caught up on some recently-purchased Doctor Who DVDs from a boxed-set of linked stories given the umbrella title “Beneath the Surface.”

First up was “Doctor Who and the Silurians,” the only story in the 45-year history of the series to utilize the “Doctor Who and the…” naming convention for its title. It’s one in the continuing adventures of a bloke whose name is absolutely NOT “Doctor Who,” so just get that right out of your head. Never mind those twenty years’ worth of end credits to the contrary. Or the episode titled “The Death of Doctor Who.” Or the one in which the evil computer WOTAN demanded Doctor Who’s presence. Or that the Doctor gave his antique car the license plate WHO 1. Just forget all that. It’s just “The Doctor,” so there.

Similarly, the Silurians are not really Silurians at all, even though that’s what the Doctor dubs them on the basis of some exceedingly flimsy evidence: a globe of the Earth in which the continents appear as they allegedly did in the Silurian period of prehistory. In a later episode, he suggests that whomever named them Silurians should have more properly called them Eocenes instead, never mind that he himself was that person. And never mind that the first time he meets one face to face, he says “Hello, are you a Silurian?” and the creature nods. But perhaps, like the Doctor, they’re used to people calling them the wrong thing.

These Silurians are not at all related to the New York society of the same name even though one is a group of veteran print journalists and the other is a race of ancient, underground reptiles who intend to retake the Earth they once dominated. Though I can see where one might make that mistake.

Anyhow, “The Doctor and the Eocenes” is an excellent four-part story in seven parts. And yes, it takes four full episodes to get to the same point in the plot that a later four-parter would have reached at its first cliffhanger. (Reduce that to 12 minutes for modern day Who.)

This is one of the episodes in which the Doctor’s companion is Dr. Liz Shaw. She’s smart, sexy, and a more legitimate example of a “liberated woman” than those later companions who went out of their way to identify themselves as such. And that’s despite a wardrobe of ridiculously short skirts that surely would have undermined her credibility at the lab even as they increased her ability to attract research grants. Liz appears to have a doctorate in “Science,” as she’s equally adept at medical biology and running a nuclear reactor.

Word to the wise: do NOT watch the special features of this DVD, as they interview a former actress named Caroline John who claims to be the woman who played the very leggy Liz Shaw, even though this Caroline John is clearly just a crone people hired to scare kids away from bowls of candy. I made the mistake, and afterward I COULD NOT HELP superimposing one over the other. It totally ruined the miniskirt thing.

The story, by the way, should more properly be called “Doctor Who and the Belligerent Sons-of-Bitches,” as most of the characters (at least, those whose hemlines are below the knee) are arrogant jerks who will not listen to anything anyone says even in the face of multiple eyewitnesses, mountains of evidence and people dropping dead like giant maggots that got into Professor Jones’ fungus powder. The only one who does listen is the nameless Silurian leader, who is pretty much the Doctor with scales, and he’s promptly shot dead by the overzealous, spastic “Young Silurian.”

On the other hand, it’s okay because most of the assholes die, except for the Doctor’s associate Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, who, soon after blowing the Silurian species into bite-sized chunks, becomes one of the most beloved characters of the franchise. (And, no joke, has recently been seen shooting a scene for season two of spin-off series The Sarah Jane Adventures. Yes, the show specifically for kids.) Granted that the Brig really does put off mass murder until after the Silurians invade the nuclear reactor complex twice, and attempt to kill the entire human race (again, twice) first by pandemic and later by destroying the Earth’s protective belt of (er…) radiation. So, honestly, when the Doctor starts talking about waking up the hibernating Silurians AGAIN to talk reason into them–only one a time, mind you, so there’s nothing that could go wrong–the Brig is pretty well justified is nuking the works.

Next up was “The Sea Devils,” which isn’t so much a sequel of “…And The Silurians” as it is a remake. This time, the prehistoric reptiles emerge from the bottom of the ocean instead of a cave complex, but otherwise it’s pretty much once again the Doctor unsuccessfully attempting to broker peace between humans and monsters, neither of which are having any of it.

This time the rush to war is led by an especially odious bureaucrat named Walker, who blandly munches on a plate of food even while he’s provoking all-out conflict. He really might be one of the worst villains in the entire series, not because of the intent or scope of his crimes, but because he just doesn’t give a shit.

Clocking in at a mere six parts, “The Sea Devils” moves more quickly than its predecessor, and the production works in jetskis, a hovercraft, location filming at an abandoned sea fort and even a reasonably convincing battle between British naval troops and attacking reptiles. It also has the benefit of Roger Delgado as the Doctor’s nemesis, the Master, whose basic plot function here is to stir up the black ants and the red ants and watch the carnage.

I’m too lazy to go back and research whether these two stories were the first instances of Doctor Who overtly moralizing the pettiness and waste of war, but certainly they’re among the most notable. By the time the Silurians and Sea Devils made a reappearance in “Warriors of the Deep” 12 years later, it’s pretty much a given that it’s all going to be a tragic tale of misunderstandings leading to massive death on both sides. “There should’ve been another way,” the Fifth Doctor famously states. But as long as mankind clings to its hatred of people in dodgy lizard suits, there never will be.

Dave Doctor Who assholes, Doctor Who, eeeek, reviews, Sea Devils, Silurians, smokin' hot babes

Former Bush White House press flack Scott McClellan has just written a memoir that details the propaganda campaign used to sell the Iraq war, and concludes “What I do know is that war should only be waged when necessary, and the Iraq war was not necessary.”

My reply: Why didn’t you say something at the time, you goddamned weasel?!

Look, I know it’s the job of a PR person to gild turds. In my own job, I expect my staff to defend policies or program content with which they may not personally agree, and I do the same. But–and it’s a big “but”–those policies and programs are not killing thousands of people, costing billions of dollars that we don’t have and causing turmoil that will echo for decades to come.

Sure, it would’ve been career suicide for McClellan or one of his fellows to come out and make such damning charges while still on staff. But that sacrifice pales in comparison to the ones made by those charged with prosecuting this unnecessary war.

I have to think that mouthing disingenuous sound bites to sell a policy causing misery on a massive scale while knowing all the time that it was both misleading and misguided would be a soul-crushing experience. But hey, at least there’s a book in it.

Update: Arianna Huffington has much the same initial reaction I did (leaving out the “goddamned weasel” bit), and adds six more takes on the subject.

Dave News assholes, lies, politics

Fox News’ Sean Hannity implies (but pretends not to do so) that Obama is a racist and anti-Semite. I won’t sully my blog by embedding the YouTube video. (It’s at the 2:51 mark.)

Dave Rant assholes, Barack Obama