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Posts Tagged ‘Barbie’

All Dolled Up

September 28th, 2009 No comments

As I’ve mentioned before, what initially appealed to me most about Champions Online was the promise of creating my superhero’s own “nemesis.” However, I was disappointed to learn that the feature doesn’t become available until a character reaches Level 25. Now, after spending entirely too many hours at the keyboard, my primary hero (Toygirl) has at last acheived that milestone.

Yesterday I thought, now what? Who would be the archrival of a toy-themed gadgeteer adventuress?

Every hero has villains, but in my view only one can rise to the level of “nemesis,” the opponent to which a heroic character is eternally linked. Batman may battle the Penguin or the Riddler, but everyone knows that the Joker is one that really gets under his tights. (Errr…)

My theory about nemeses is that they basically come in two flavors: the duplicate and the opposite. A duplicate is a villain who is more or less identical to the hero, with similar powers and perhaps a costume which parodies that of his rival. An opposite is one that is everything the hero is not. An example of the former is the Flash’s foe Professor Zoom; he might be nicknamed the Reverse-Flash, but he’s really just the Flash with a color-inverted supersuit. Lex Luthor is an example of the latter. Superman is characterized by his physical might, Luthor counterbalances that with mental genius.

Anyhow, my initial thought was to give Toygirl a duplicate: a rogue gadgeteer named the Dollmaker. I saw him as surrounded by deadly Barbies, rag dolls and the like. Unfortunately, I soon learned that at this time one can only choose a pre-generated set of minions (pirates, ninjas, etc.) for one’s nemesis. That didn’t seem all that toy-themed to me.

So, thought I, “Why not make Barbie herself the villain?” Rather than a duplicate, she can be an opposite: a self-aware toy.

Tremble, then, before the majesty of Barbara X-03!

She's come straight from Malibu to kick your ass!

I wrote up a short bio for her: “The final creation of rogue toymaker Geppetto Dolly, Barbara X-03 (known affectionately by no one as “Babs”) is a plastoid shell over an unobtanium mechanical frame. Plotting from her dream house, Barbara X-03 is out to prove that killer fembots can do anything!”

The first nemesis mission is a museum heist, which begins when the villain blows a huge hole in the wall. I like that the first thing one sees of the nemesis is a slow, cinematic pan up from the feet.

Isn't that typical? You always lose one Barbie shoe."I am here to chew bubblegum and kick ass!"

Kneel! Kneel before Barbara X-03!


Since that initial encounter at the museum, Barbara X-03 has not made a reappearance, but her robot minions have ambushed me on several occasions. I would’ve liked to have posted a better screenshot of Toygirl vs. Barbara, but quite frankly any time I get near her she blasts me halfway across the room!

Until next time, Babs. Until next time.

Coming Soon: Bates Motel Barbie

September 3rd, 2008 No comments

Admit it: you’ve always wanted to see Barbie pecked to death by crows.

Categories: Toys Tags: , ,