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Posts Tagged ‘corpses’

Hey, What’s That Smell?

November 10th, 2008 No comments

A 90-year-old woman in Evanston, Illinois was living with the dead bodies of three siblings, one of whom had been deceased for decades. The article is unfortunately scarce on details. My first question was, “What were they wearing, and had they been posed?”

I’m going to suggest right now that my own friends may want to make periodic inspections of my home in the event that something happens to Vic.

Hey, hon, do you have a favorite outfit, or should I just pick one?

Updated: Maybe this occurred to you before it did me, but another question: Given the wide disparity between the various deaths, how long were the other siblings living with the corpses?

The Not-So-Great Pumpkin

October 29th, 2008 No comments

Halloween for me is like Christmas for a lot of other people, in that I have an idealized version of the holiday and usually wind up finding that it doesn’t live up to my hopes. I’ve always wanted to be the cool house where all the kids come for trick-or-treat, but that’s not going to happen in our current neighborhood. As there are no street lights, the few kids we have in the immediate area typically go elsewhere. In our old neighborhood we were getting upwards of 90 trick-or-treaters on a good Halloween, but here we’re lucky to get 25.

Still, I want to make at least a token effort. I made me a new iPod playlist that I’ve been running here in the office all week, and I put out some of my yard decorations.

I only put out a handful of my old foam tombstones, as the tree in our front yard is so full that it would be hard to see more than a few. I used a couple of my favorites, as well as the “Beelzebub for President” one that only comes out in an election year. However, I did spiff up the display a little with a couple of nifty 3D grave markers that Target offered this year.

Amusingly, as I was setting up the skeleton in the front porch rocker, a pair of door-to-door religious types came up to witness at me. I politely said, “Sorry, not for me,” and fortunately they took the hint. What I really wanted to say was, “Did you miss the Beelzebub for President tombstone? ‘Cause I’m thinking that I’m not the target audience.”

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but only a giant spider can pick your friend’s nose.