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Unhappy Returns

July 14th, 2009 No comments

Poking around Wikipedia, I stumbled across this list of movies that bombed in North America. Honestly, the list seems somewhat less than definitive; Wild Wild West is left off because its combined domestic and international takes pushed it into the black, but D-War (aka Dragon Wars) is included even though it was a big hit in its native South Korea. And Waterworld doesn’t belong there at all, despite its reputation; that sucker made a modest profit once all the dinars were counted.

It’s a rogues’ gallery of high-profile turkeys–no list of movie bombs is complete without Cutthroat Island–but there are some good films in there, too. Dark City jumps out as one of the latter, as does Ed Wood. And, of course, I’ll go to my grave defending Speed Racer as cruelly underrated.

Anyhow, despite the list’s deficiencies, I thought it would be amusing to count up the number that I saw during their initial theatrical run. I came up with 29 30 (added Raise the Titanic!):

  1. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
  2. The Avengers
  3. The Black Cauldron
  4. Cat People (1982)
  5. Dark City
  6. Dick
  7. D-War
  8. EDtv
  9. Ed Wood
  10. Escape from L.A.
  11. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
  12. Forces of Nature
  13. Heartbeeps
  14. Howard the Duck
  15. Ishtar
  16. Judge Dredd
  17. Land of the Lost
  18. Legend
  19. Lifeforce
  20. Mars Attacks!
  21. McHale’s Navy
  22. Raise the Titanic!
  23. Return to Oz
  24. Santa Claus: The Movie
  25. Slither
  26. Snoopy Come Home
  27. Solaris (2002)
  28. Speed Racer
  29. Waterworld
  30. Wing Commander

That’s a whole lot of suck. Though I take no credit for Santa Claus: The Movie; my dad has been responsible for coercing me into watching any number of terrible, terrible, terrible films. (I returned the favor.)

I maintain that Ishtar really isn’t all that bad, once you get past the outrageous budget overrun. And Slither is a lot of ooky fun. But Heartbeeps? Man, that sucked ass.

There are eight more that I saw on home video, but I’ll let you guess which.

2008 At The Movies

January 7th, 2009 No comments

Another year, another movie wrap-up. Here’s the list of all 2008 releases I tramped down to the multimegaplex to watch. As always, films are listed in terms of domestic box-office because I’m lazy and therefore cribbing from the yearly summary at Box Office Mojo.

  • The Dark Knight
  • Iron Man
  • Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
  • WALL-E
  • Quantum of Solace
  • The Incredible Hulk
  • Get Smart
  • Tropic Thunder
  • Cloverfield
  • Hellboy II: The Golden Army
  • Forgetting Sarah Marshall
  • Baby Mama
  • Burn After Reading
  • Speed Racer
  • Star Wars: The Clone Wars

That’s fifteen, two down from last year. And only five of the top 10, also down two. Maybe I should’ve seen Hancock and Madagascar 2? Eh, maybe not.

Going into 2008, a lot of folks–including myself–were seeing the potential for another 1982, a banner year for filmic geekdom. Certainly, there were a great many prominent genre efforts, despite Star Trek and Harry Potter being pushed back into 2009 for reasons known only to movie marketers.

I suspect that for many geeks and geeks-in-training, it was every bit as big as ’82. Theater clean-up crews are still wiping up the spooge deposited at screenings of The Dark Knight, the bestest movie EVER. Similarly, Iron Man had folks falling over each other on the way to the microphone to proclaim its sublime charms.

For me, 2008 was a little bet “meh.”

First, let’s get The Dark Knight out of the way. It’s telling that I not only didn’t run out and buy the DVD on its day of release (which you can damn well bet I did for Speed Racer), but I didn’t even put it on my Christmas list. Ultimately, I did receive a copy as a holiday gift, and I do intend to give it another whirl.

My relative lack of enthusiasm for The Dark Knight is for much the same reason as my muted reaction to the regenerated James Bond series: it just didn’t give me what I wanted from the franchise. Like Quantum of Solace, I respect the level of talent involved, as well as the need to curb the excesses of the past, but at the end of the day I guess I’m just not ready for a complete reinvention. For me, Dark Knight was only a superhero movie in that someone wore a cape; it was closer in feel to a modern crime drama or even a Silence of the Lambs-style thriller. And I’m sorry, but Heath Ledger is my fourth favorite Joker.

Iron Man was another one that had both fanboys and regular critics touching themselves, but again I struggled to see what the fuss was about. I did actually ask for this one at Christmas, and watched it a second time over the holiday break. And don’t get me wrong, it’s an enjoyable film. Robert Downey Jr. is having fun, and it shows. On a second viewing, I still found it to suffer from a relative paucity of Iron Man; there are long stretches in which not much happens, and even the final fight is fairly brief. I actually found The Incredible Hulk a bit more satisfying as a superhero film.

The “meh” continued with Indiana Jones and Hellboy II. I enjoyed them, but neither knocked my socks off. I do think that public reaction to Indiana Jones was a bit harsh in that everyone seemed to be anticipating another Raiders of the Lost Ark rather than another Last Crusade. And all the indignation about “nuking the fridge” seemed more about trying to invent a new “jump the shark” meme than a legitimate criticism of a series that has always reveled in unbelievable moments. Back in the day, my dad complained mightily about Indiana Jones getting pulled under that truck in Raiders, and I recall similar audience reactions to Indy using a rubber raft to escape a crashing plane in Temple of Doom. The real problem with Crystal Skull was that damned crystal skull.

Another Lucasfilm release was Star Wars: The Clone Wars, which amounted to little more than a cash-grab culled from the weekly animated series. One thing that has become clear is that for as much bitching as we old-school fans do about the prequels, for today’s kids this is Star Wars, and they love it.

The other entry in the computer-animated space robot sweepstakes was WALL-E, which was a sheer delight, start to finish. I don’t go to enough movies to confidently claim that any of them is the “best of” a given year, but WALL-E was the best that I saw.

Long-time readers will of course know that I absolutely loved Speed Racer. And hey, there are at least two of us: Richard Corliss over at Time magazine put it on his top 10 list. It reminded me of another film I adored, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, not only because of its entirely green-screened sets and hyper-unreality, but because in both cases audiences just didn’t seem to care. A lot of folks who were perfectly okay with the likes of Transformers suddenly demanded complex plots and realistic characters from their popcorn flicks. Whatever. I think that blogger Chris Sims summed it up best when he chalked up its poor reception to people who actively hated joy.

Cloverfield was another movie made expressly for me. Despite my ongoing hassle with Hasbro over my duplicate Cloverfield monster, I really liked this modern take on the venerable giant monster movie subgenre.

I saw a few good comedies this year. Forgetting Sarah Marshall had a lot of good moments–especially the climactic Dracula puppet musical–but I could’ve done without having to see Jason Segal’s junk. Tropic Thunder was ridiculous fun, with Robert Downey Jr. once again the big draw, though no moment was funnier than one featuring Ben Stiller and his would-be adopted “son”. Despite my well-documented love of Tina Fey, I felt that Baby Mama went a bit flat, and wasn’t nearly as good as Mean Girls. Get Smart managed not to tread upon my affection for the original TV series, and I felt that both Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway acquitted themselves in the roles created by Don Adams and Barbara Feldon. Finally there was Burn After Reading, which alternated between hilarious and too weird for words.

Can’t say that there’s a lot I’m looking forward to in 2009, aside from the aforementioned Star Trek and Harry Potter (and it must be said that this is my least favorite story in the Potter series). Land of the Lost is on my radar, though the inclusion of Will Ferrell makes me wonder what they’re going for; at least it appears to include old-school Sleestak. Terminator: Salvation has my interest, if only because it’ll finally pay off the future war we’ve been promised since the original film. And the new Wolverine flick looks promising; while I don’t have the Wolverine love that most comics fans do, I’ll admit that Hugh Jackman was a lot of fun in the previous X-Men films. Oh, and Watchmen, assuming it actually comes out.

In Defense Of Speed

May 22nd, 2008 No comments

Ken Lowery does a fine job of defending Speed Racer, calling out critics on praising Transformers for the exact same reasons they used to damn Speed. It’s the same sort of thing that bugged me when pre-tumor Roger Ebert gave The Phantom Menace three-and-a-half stars [“I wish the “Star Wars” characters spoke with more elegance and wit …but dialogue isn’t the point, anyway: These movies are about new things to look at.”], while post-cancer Ebert gave Attack of the Clones a mere two (“But in a film with a built-in audience, why not go for the high notes? Why not allow the dialogue to be inventive, stylish and expressive?”).

Ken makes an especially good point: “In those debates and in those negative reviews, it always came down to this: that serious stories are better than fun stories, and think-pieces are superior to movies that dazzle. The underlying mentality, sometimes stated but more often implied, is that some storytelling goals are simply worthier than others.” That’s something I’ve been trying to say in my own way for some time; that with few exceptions, a Chariots of Fire or Gandhi will always be seen as superior to a Raiders of the Lost Ark or E.T., simply because one is high-minded, “spinach is good for you” filmmaking, and the other just wants to have fun.

But when was the last time you watched Chariots of Fire?

I Don’t Get It

May 10th, 2008 No comments

Right now, I’m having one of those moments in which I feel that I’m really not in synch with the people around me.

Look, I knew that I was more jazzed about the Speed Racer film than most, but I’m boggled by the chilliness of its reception. Sure, the critics didn’t like it, but that’s what critics do. They were gunning for it from the moment the first trailer debuted. (I maintain that pre-tumor Roger Ebert–the guy who praised The Phantom Menace for being an empty spectacle–would’ve loved it. Post-op Ebert, however, did not.)

I honestly thought that there would’ve been an enthusiastic reaction from the middle-aged geeks who grew up on the cartoon, plus every ten-year-old boy in the U.S. And so I was not prepared to see perhaps twenty people in the theater at 7:00 pm Friday on opening night.

The crowds didn’t seem much more numerous today, even though Saturday should be more conducive to family viewing. Meanwhile, Iron Man was packed.

Yeah, I know: everyone loves Iron Man, critics and fanboys alike. Having just come from seeing it, I don’t quite get the passion. It’s a solid film, sure, but I was being told that it was in the upper echelons of the superhero genre. I felt it was more Spider-Man than Spider-Man 2, but what do I know? The first Spider-Man film made a metric fuckton of cash, whereas I thought it was “okay.”

The problems I had with Iron Man were two-fold. First, it’s an origin film, which meant that a whole lot of running time was spent in setting up the background. That’s understandable, but it’s still “seen it.” Second–and the filmmakers admit as much–Iron Man doesn’t have a strong villain roster. Here they pretty much go the easy way out and make him fight a bigger version of himself. How RoboCop 2 of them.

Again, it’s by no means a bad film. Downey was very good, as was Paltrow. The comedy bits, especially the ones involving an overzealous fire-extinguishing robot, were fun. I liked the in-jokes: Stan Lee being mistaken for Hugh Hefner, Tony Stark’s phone playing the old Iron Man cartoon theme, and Rhodey (who becomes the hero War Machine in the comics) looking at Stark’s first armor suit and saying “Next time.” It’s just that the film seemed much less than I’d been led to expect.

Speed Racer, on the other hand, was more or less just what I expected. That’s not to say that it’s a better film than Iron Man, but I certainly did have more fun with it.

Contrary to the reviews, I didn’t find the graphics to be that eye-searing, and I never had any trouble following the racing action. As Vic pointed out, Speed’s gonna win; what else do you need to know?

The reviews seemed unfair on one point: a number of them made the point that while the film itself was firmly anti-corporate, it was made and marketed by one of the world’s largest media groups. (Unlike every other mainstream movie, I guess.) And your point is? That because you don’t like the messenger–or rather, the company who paid the messenger–the message itself was invalid?

I thought that the Wachowski brothers did a fine job of capturing the spirit of the cartoon, though I realize that this may have also been what put off potential viewers. Still, no one went broke underestimating the tastes of the American audience: Transformers (which I also enjoyed) did very well and it was no deeper or less frenetic than Speed Racer. I don’t know, maybe adults just didn’t want to see a movie with a monkey in a starring role.

I enjoyed the look of Speed’s world, even though the Wachowskis took considerable liberty from the old show in turning it into a gigantic, psychedelic skate park. The racing scenes, with the cars spinning madly along the course and even grinding the rails, were like none ever seen before.

The cast did a good job with what they had to work with, but I thought that the young actor playing Spritle was the standout. I found most of his comic relief bits playing opposite the aforementioned monkey legitimately amusing.

As a fanboy, I would’ve liked perhaps a bit more fidelity to the original series. Some of the names–Snake Oiler, Cruncher Block, Inspector Detector, the GRX–were familiar, but they were playing different roles in the film’s plot than they did in the cartoon. And since they wound up racing in some locales that were similar to those seen in the show, why not use the names? Those are silly quibbles, I know.

What really does surprise me about Speed Racer vs. Iron Man is that the latter seemed to have attracted more parents with small children, yet the former seemed far more appropriate for them. Iron Man was a bit dark and gruesome at times, what with its Afghan terrorists and scenes of torture. Plus, it had some very long stretches between the action scenes. Speed Racer dragged a bit in the middle too, but it was so bright and cheery that I would think kids would find more to keep themselves engaged.

But again, what the heck do I know? I am clearly out of touch with what other people like.

Adventure’s Waiting Just Ahead!

May 9th, 2008 No comments

One of Speed Racer’s greatest challenges was posed by the Gang of Assassins, featured in the episode “Gang of Assassins.” Another ninja-themed group, they had a couple of clear advantages over the previously-seen bat boys: sheer numbers and bitchin’, death’s head cars. Also a flying dragon submarine, but more on that in a minute.

They had been hired to disrupt the International Peacemeal Conference, the name of which was probably as close to political satire as the American translators of Speed Racer ever got. The Mach 5 happened upon the scene of their next assassination attempt, but when Speed used the homing robot to give them the bird, one of the gang retaliated by throwing a million, billion ninja stars.

Speed and Trixie gave chase in the Mach 5, but the assassins’ cars proved to have an overwhelming array of weapons: machine guns, spike strips and flamethrowers.

Later, Racer X, who had been in town for the Fujiyama Grand Prix, was standing on a lake shore watching a boat full of delegates to the Peacemeal Conference when he was ambushed by the assassins. Who were buried in the dirt beneath him. That’s how kick-ass the Gang of Assassins were: they could burrow. They snagged the Masked Racer’s wrists with chains, but he gave them a spin.

Racer X learned that the attack was just a test: they wanted to recruit him into the gang. Just then, a dragon-headed submarine reared out of the water and a whirlpool sucked the delegates’ sightseeing vessel below the surface!

After a series of adventures, Speed, Trixie, Spritle and Chim-Chim all found themselves in the underground lair of the worldwide assassins’ organization.

The assassins deliberately kept their lair chilly.

Speed met their leader, Professor Anarchy, who offered Speed a job on the team. When the racer refused, Anarchy threatened to make him his 2,708th victim. (That’s right, he kept track.)


Even’s Anarchy’s eyepatch was twisted.


The conversation was cut short by the arrival of Racer X, seemingly in cahoots with the villains. Rex was put in charge of murdering Speed, Trixie and the captured delegates. Indeed, he blasted away with a submachine gun…and, in what was arguably the greatest feat of precision ever achieved by a racer-turned-secret-agent, shot off their ropes.

Not even Speed is buying it.

A fracas ensued, and, as this was Speed Racer, it involved submachine guns, and lots of ’em.

After that, it all got a bit insane. Racer X led the freed delegates out of the underground complex, then went back to blow it up with a time bomb. Spritle and Chim-Chim stowed away aboard the dragon sub. Speed and Trixie raced off in the Mach 5 in hopes of intercepting the remaining assassins before they could reach the Peacemeal Conference.

Then, because no Japanese adventure series was complete without a flying submarine, the dragon lifted off and began pelting the fleeing Speed with fireballs. Once again, Spritle and Chim-Chim saved the day by sabotaging the sub and parachuting out as it made a final, fatal power dive smack into the highway, demolishing the killers’ cars. Suck that, assassins.

“Aieeeeeee! I dishonor my ancestors!”

The fate of Professor Anarchy was unrevealed, but I believe that surely his sinister eyepatch would once again endanger world peace.


This brings me to the end of my less-than-comprehensive retrospective of Speed Racer. The movie opened today, and I’ll be seeing it this evening. While it’s being savaged by the critics, their descriptions make it sound as if it’s exactly what’s promised in the trailer: an eye-searing visual display that’s relatively faithful to the cartoon in both tone and level of sophistication. (Make of that what you will.) Fortunately for me, that’s exactly what I’m looking for.

Getting ready for tonight.

He’s A Demon And He’s Gonna Be Chasin’ After Someone

May 8th, 2008 No comments

While most Speed Racer bad guys suffered the indignity of such names as Zoomer Slick and Splint Femur, some never received so much as a proper noun. Such was the case with the unidentified ninja bat boys who bedeviled the gang in the episode “The Royal Racer.”

I was never quite sure what in the heck these pint-sized killers were supposed to be. I suppose that they were agile midgets, but their mugs were oddly monstrous.


A face only a ninja bat mother could love.

In addition to cool costumes and mad acrobatic skills, they had frightening metal claws on both hands and feet. Great for opening cans; lousy for digging change out of their ninja pockets.

The bat boys were employed by Omar Offendum of the Kingdom of Saccharin, who was out to steal the throne by having the dimwitted (and pig-nosed) Prince Sugarin crowned instead of the rightful royal heir, Prince Jam.


Prince Sugarin was the ugly stick with which the bat boys had been beaten.

Wouldn’t you know it, Prince Jam just happened to be a dead-ringer for Spritle. And before you could say “Mark Twain,” the two became mixed up. Spritle was welcomed into the palace, where he gorged himself on sweetmeats and prepared to drive in the “Baby Grand Prix.” Meanwhile, the real prince was locked in a bathroom by the Racer family as they practiced their usual “tough love.”

Over the course of the two-part episode, the ninjas went first after Spritle and then after Jam once they recognized the latter’s tell-tale royal birthmark.

Eventually, the little killers captured both the prince and Speed, but one of their own was caught by the reunited Spritle and Chim-Chim. In order to make the ninja talk, Chim-Chim went Gitmo and unsheathed his hitherto-unsuspected razor-sharp talons.

Let me repeat that: Chim-Chim had razor-sharp talons. And he would cut you.

The monkey sidekick wound up being the real hero of this story, even disguising himself as a bat boy to untie Speed and Jam while Trixie pulled out the heavy artillery.

Seconds later, in berzerk bloodlust, Chim-Chim ripped out Speed’s jugular. Stone cold Trixie.

In the end, Prince Jam was crowned and both he and Spritle raced to a tie in the Baby Grand Prix.

Still later, unknown to the Racers, Chim-Chim began a secret double life as a master ninja monkey. But that’s a story for another day.

Categories: Speed Racer Tags: , ,

He’s Jamming Down The Pedal Like He’s Never Coming Back

May 5th, 2008 No comments

The forthcoming Speed Racer film looks to have numerous references to the original cartoons, among them the Mammoth Car, Snake Oiler and Kabala. However, the one featured most prominently in both the trailers and the merchandise is the super-car known as the GRX.

The GRX debuted in the story “The Fastest Car on Earth.” Indeed, the experimental GRX engine was so powerful that it had already claimed the lives of four drivers, and was subsequently buried in a cemetery. Naturally, people simply couldn’t let sleeping engines lie, and so grave robbers dug it up and loaded it into the back of a hearse, no less.

Installed into a dazzling, golden car by its new owner–the venomous Oriena Flux–the GRX was so fast that its driver had to be sprayed with “V Gas,” a drug that heightened reflexes and made the subject immune to fear. Unfortunately, it came with a side effect: extreme thirst which when satiated brought unbridled terror of speed. (Other reported side effects include headache, nausea, eczema, spontaneous combustion, cheese aversion, and tertiary testicular growth. Consult with your doctor before taking V Gas.)

Our own Speed Racer became obsessed with the idea of driving the fastest car in the world, and volunteered to be a test subject for the V Gas. Pushing the GRX past 340 mph, he entered a state of crazed euphoria.

Kids, don’t do drugs.

The real trouble started when Trixie kindly gave Speed a glass of water, leaving him in quaking fear on the drive home. Subsequently, the Racer family did what they always did when one of their own was suffering withdrawal symptoms: they tied him to a chair and employed the Ludovico technique. Pops ran a projector displaying film of a car in motion over and over until Speed recovered. (You shoulda seen how they handled Spritle’s candy addiction.)

The GRX was destroyed at last when its new driver couldn’t resist the temptation to take a swig of water. (Reported side effects of water include tremors, incontinence, unexpected hair growth, and fiery wreck.)

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Motorcycle Apaches!

May 2nd, 2008 No comments

Motorcycle Apaches!

Motorcycle Apaches!

Motorcycle Apaches!

To be honest, I don’t have much to write about the Motorcycle Apaches. They were Indians. On motorbikes instead of horses. And their leader was Geronimo, who was known to shout “Meeeeeeeeee!” as he rode into battle.

The Apaches regularly harassed convoys on their way to the Space Development Base, so it was up to Speed to convey the latest shipment of Uraniumtane in the trunk of the Mach 5. Meanwhile, Spritle and Chim-Chim were tasked with driving an old-fashioned wagon full of food to the same base, along a different route. Ultimately, it turned out that Speed was a decoy and that Spritle’s wagon actually carried the Uraniumtane, because the U.S. space program often put children and monkeys in charge of their radioactive materials.

The reason I bring all this up is not to praise the Motorcycle Apaches, but to comment on the far freaky dream Spritle had while en route to the space base. In it, he saw himself as a Western gunslinger riding into a bandit-ridden town to go all Sergio Leone on their asses.

That’s right: an afternoon kids’ show featured a school-age child gunning down outlaws. Sure, everything except Spritle was rendered as still images in some sort of chalk-and-charcoal style, but that’s still what appears to be a gout of blood erupting from that bad guy’s chest.

Here’s some more:

And then, because it wasn’t disorienting enough, the masked Spritle was romantically serenaded by Queen Starsha of Iscandar. Thank you, early ’70s syndicated TV, for rocking my world.

By the way, I believe “The Masked Spritle” would be a terrible name for a professional wrestler.

And Now, A Monkey Interlude

May 1st, 2008 No comments

Categories: Speed Racer Tags: ,

Malange Still Races!

May 1st, 2008 No comments

Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but in the world of Speed Racer, it’s delivered by car. For example, when Dr. J.D. Crepit‘s wife was killed and son was crippled in an accident, he may have overreacted when he vowed to destroy all motorcars. Yet he carried out his vehicular villainy with automotive ingenuity, employing a fleet of tiny, remote-controlled cars that attached themselves to the undersides of his targets and allowed him to drive them away to his castle to be smelted down and used, naturally enough, to build a completely-automated theme park decorated with metal flora and robotic animals. He racked up 48,000 kills before Speed foiled his entirely sensible plan and ironically revealed that his wheelchair-bound son had been able to walk all along.

Granted that was perhaps the most audacious act of revenge to occur during the series, but for style points I have to give it to Flash Marker, Jr. and his deathmobile, the Malange.

Speed first encountered the Malange while practicing for the Danger Pass Race, when a mysterious black auto recklessly passed him. Later that evening, the same car tailgated another driver, who was terrified when its hood ominously began to flash “X3.” The sinister motorist deliberately collided with his victim, leaving behind a flaming wreck, a slip of paper, and the eerie, electronic pronouncement: “Malange still races.”

“Malange loves hats.”

The X3 soon struck again, and before long Inspector Detector sought Speed’s help, as only the Mach 5 could match the velocity of the deadly driver. A furious chase ensued, which ended at a railroad crossing when the descending gate ripped the assassin from the front seat, revealing him to be a robot!

“Malange still ra– Agh! My nards!” The Tin Man became a bitter drunk after Dorothy left him.

Pops Racer eventually put two and X3 together and realized that the dead men, Mr. Green and Mr. Black, had both been coaches of the racing team known as the Three Roses Club. (After quitting the Reservoir Dogs.) Furthermore, they had been involved in a previous race at Danger Pass which claimed the life of the driver of the original Malange, Flash Marker, who was forced off the road by a Three Roses car.

Suspicion immediately fell upon his surviving children, Lily and Flash, Jr. Lily, who ran a flower shop, was clearly too pretty to be the killer, and Flash, Jr. was hobbled by crutches. However, the latter was indeed the culprit, remotely controlling the rebuilt Malange from the cockpit of his helicopter.

Forcing Lily to enter the Danger Pass race, he installed a revolving hood on the X3 so that it would only sport an innocent-seeming “3” until his moment of revenge. Steering the Malange from above, he destroyed two of the Three Roses cars. When Speed interfered, Lily managed to keep Flash, Jr. from shooting him. Eventually Speed overtook the then-driverless X3 and leaped aboard, forcing open the revolving hood and ripping at the car’s wiring. The Malange was annihilated, but not before taking out the last of the Three Roses Club. In shock over losing his father’s car, Flash failed to notice the rather large mountain in front of his chopper. Which served him right.

In Speed Racer, revenge was sweet, but mountains tended to get the last laugh.

Categories: Speed Racer Tags: ,