Thiel-a-Vision Review: Westworld

If Westworld was released today, it would be called "Jurassic Park meets The Terminator." Of course, the relationship is actually reversed, and it's easy to see this '70s sci-fi Western's influence on later film franchises. The Jurassic Park connection is obvious, given that both were written by Michael Crichton and tell tales of high-tech amusement parks "where nothing can possibly go worng." (One of my all-time favorite taglines.) Meanwhile, it shares with The Terminator a lengthy, climatic chase between a lone survivor and a relentless, robotic pursuer.

Westworld is inspired by the animatronic figures that populate most Disney theme park attractions, and postulates a luxury resort in which guests can spend time in one of three historical "worlds" and indulge their violent, hedonistic fantasies with a horde of lifelike machines. One might argue that it would be easier--and cheaper--merely to hire actors, but that's rather missing the point.

Granted, the logic of the setting isn't thoroughly worked out. There are safety measures intended to keep guests from being gunned down, but seemingly nothing to stop them from suffering serious injury during a bar brawl, or in one of Medieval World's swordfights. And the six-guns may have sensors that keep them from firing at warm-blooded entities, but ricochets and wall penetrations seem very likely possibilities. These are nagging issues, but they ultimately don't detract from the strong points of the production.

The performances by Richard Benjamin and James Brolin are solid, and Yul Brynner is highly effective as the steely-eyed gunslinger who dogs them after a computer virus disrupts Westworld's systems and sends the robots into a murderous frenzy. Majel Barrett (aka Mrs. Gene Roddenberry) makes a brief appearance as an android prostitute.

While tape-reel computer drives and oversized circuit boards date the film, I still enjoyed the behind-the-scenes portions of the proceedings, featuring a NASA-like control room staffed by white-suited scientists. One suspects that they enjoyed a certain sick pleasure monitoring (and facilitating) their guests' erotic pursuits. There's also a fun shot of a hallway of operating tables filled with android patients, including a mechanical horse.

The final chase is tense and greatly benefits from its soundtrack. Some scenes feature pounding, electronic music to underscore the ceaseless pursuit by Brynner's gunfighter, while others rely merely on his jingling spurs echoing down the long, dark, silent corridors of the Westworld complex. 

As in Jurassic Park, a portion of humanity survives, but our kind are clearly not the victors. Once again, monsters of science ferociously guard their domain.

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Ratings Guide

Zero What the hell were they thinking? Even Ed Wood was more entertaining.
1/2 Dear God in Heaven. Probable involvement of Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay.
Seriously shit. Based upon a Saturday Night Live skit.
1/2 Mildly crap. Eddie Murphy made another family comedy.
It's not good. It's not bad. It's just there.
1/2 Has its moments. A bonus half star for a particularly cool robot or perky breast.
Solid entertainment. Exploding robots and/or multiple bare breasts.
1/2 As good as most movies can hope to achieve. May include full-frontal nudity.
Like Mary Poppins herself, practically perfect in every way.

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